Sometimes we feel that awful feeling of complete emptiness. It’s like there’s a void inside of us that we have no idea how to fill or what to do about it. No matter how busy our lives are or how full of people it is, there’s always this undeniable existence of this void inside of us.
Let me tell you some of the mistakes that most of us fall into in the pursuit of trying to find ways to fill this emptiness. We might think that a new relationship will fix and help us feel less empty inside. We think that having someone might somehow complete this part of us and fill it up, but to our surprise, a relationship doesn’t do that. We end up feeling that hole inside of us anyway.
Many of us might think that maybe it’s because our lives are not busy enough or not full of enough things, so we go ahead and we take on more work and we do more things and we even volunteer to do stuff in our free time, hoping that maybe this constant busyness will make us feel less empty; but to our surprise, we still feel this emptiness deep within us, despite all our attempts.
The thing is, we freak out when we feel empty. We search for so many ways to get rid of this feeling. We seek new relationships, new hobbies, more work, and new company, hoping that all this will help us beat this feeling. But during this state of panic that we get into, we don’t dive deep into ourselves to figure out and try to understand what’s actually causing this emptiness. We keep seeking external help all the time. We keep searching for things and ways to help us out with what’s going on. But how can we search for something when we don’t even know what we’re searching for?
We need to figure out what is missing from our lives and dive deep within ourselves and figure out what left us feeling so empty. Many of us feel empty after a breakup, for example. It might be because we felt like someone made us feel safe, but then this sense of safety got stripped away from us. Or maybe it’s the feeling of being loved, but then it’s gone with the relationship. And we might think that once we’re in a new one, all these things that got stripped away from us will come back, but they don’t. Because we can’t depend on someone else. We need to find ways to provide ourselves with that sense of safety or security that we felt got taken away from us. We need to make ourselves feel loved and not completely rely on someone else to make us feel this way.
No one can fill this emptiness we’re feeling but us. We have to quit searching for someone else to fill it for us or for something else to do so. We have to find out what exactly we are missing first that left us feeling this way and then start figuring out a way that will make us provide ourselves with what we feel we need the most to finally fill this void inside of us.
