I miss my self-peace; I miss the way I didn’t care about being 10 minutes late. How it didn’t feel like the end of the world when things didn’t go right.
How easily I used to sleep without having thoughts drizzling through my mind. How I just let things be and how I went with the flow.
I miss the way I didn’t care about a lot of things and how I didn’t think of what that person or this person would think of me.
I miss feeling like I had nothing to prove to anyone. I was just me and that was enough. I miss how others’ opinions of me didn’t matter.
I miss my slow mornings. The way I talked slowly, they way I ate slowly, the way I walked slowly, and the way I just lived slowly.
I miss not panicking over deadlines and not thinking of the future and just having faith that things would turn out okay.
I miss how life seemed simpler and easier to live, how everything wasn’t accompanied with the heaviness of overthinking and overanalyzing and how my mind didn’t have different scenarios that played out before every single situation.
I miss the old me, the chill version of me, the one that was full of inner peace. The me that kind of didn’t feel anxiety towards anything. The calmer version of me that didn’t feel like drowning in her own ocean of thoughts.
And the worst part is I didn’t even realize what a beautiful thing I had and how blessed I was for having this state of mind till I lost it. I don’t know how I lost such a beautiful thing, and I don’t know how to get it back.