10 Things To Remember When It Feels Like You’re Behind Everyone Else
1. Everyone Has Different Journeys
Everyone’s timeline is different. Some people know exactly what they want at sixteen and stick to that plan for their entire life. Some people meet their perfect match when they are in kindergarten and spend the rest of their lives with them. But others may take different paths at various stages throughout their life. They may discover that the person they thought would make them happy just didn’t fit with them. We all have different journeys and that is a wonderful, exciting thing because if we didn’t, we wouldn’t have stories to tell each other, we wouldn’t be molded into the unique, interesting people we are today. We wouldn’t want to spend hours exploring the depths of each other’s histories or feeling inspired by each other.
2. We Don’t Have To Want The Same Thing
I think we all get so caught up in this idealized version of what our lives should look like, this “meant to be” way of thinking. We are told that we should want marriage, a house, and some kids. We are told that unless we are a success by 25, we haven’t made it. But, the truth is, you can not want any of these things and you can still be successful. You can be successful in your relationship; you can simply go through life with a rucksack and a map and have the absolute best time. We don’t all have to want the bog-standard life, we don’t all have to chase the perfect man or the perfect house or the sparkling career. We are all our own person, we all have our own dreams, with our own unique set of ideas about what will truly make us happy in this life.
Do what makes you happy, not what society has told you will make you happy.
3. You Are Still A Success
No, you may not have landed your dream job yet, but you’ve got a couple of degrees under your belt and a hefty savings account. Yes, I know it feels like everyone has a degree these days, that you are just a tiny person in a crowd of graduates, but you still worked hard at it, you still put in the effort. You still achieved that. It’s so easy to minimize successes when you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere when you keep receiving job rejections when people keep telling you just aren’t good enough.
But you are. You have still done great things. You still have so much to offer.
4. There’s So Much Time Ahead Of You
Your twenties are always going to feel like a race; like there is always something you should have or should be going after. It’s a horrible time of feeling like there just isn’t enough time like your best years are behind you. But the truth is, you are still young. You still have so much ahead of you and so many great people didn’t “make it” until they were in their forties or fifties. Your age does not determine your success. Your twenties are your “figuring it out” age- you can try various career paths and date different types of people and it doesn’t matter so much if you get it wrong. You are still learning who you are and what you want and that’s okay. In fact, that’s okay at absolutely any age.
There should not be a time stamp on happiness or success.
5. Comparing Yourself To Others Is Self-Destructible
We all do it. We compare our careers, our bodies, our relationships, literally anything we have, we will compare it to what someone else has. We can’t help ourselves. But each time you find yourself thinking, “Well she has a mortgage and a husband” or “How has she already got a promotion, I swear she only started last week?”, remember that it isn’t productive, it just begins the cycle of feeling like crap about yourself and pinning up all of your achievements against theirs and always falling short. Yes, it is good to feel inspired by others and to look up to your friends, but using it as a way to beat yourself up, is only going to make you more likely to lie in bed all day and binge watch an entire season of Grey’s Anatomy.
6. Just Because Nothing Is Happening For You Right Now, Doesn’t Mean It Never Will
It’s so easy to feel like your life plan is set in stone, that if you haven’t’ found the right person or the right job, or just simply discovered your passion, that you never will. It’s easy to feel defeated when you are forever looking around at those who have everything you crave. But if you want something enough, if you fight for something hard enough, you will get there eventually.
The present is not a predictor of the future, it is simply a sign that things can only get better, and they will.
7. How Good It Will Feel When You Finally Make It
Isn’t that we all crave? That feeling of having “made it”, of truly being happy? When you feel as if everything is rubbish, that the world is against you, that maybe people like you aren’t meant for greatness, hold on to that feeling. Hold on to the belief that it will one day be yours.
8. Rushing Something Never Turns Out Well
If there is one thing I have learned in my 26 years, it is that rushing into something, whether it is a job you aren’t sure about or a relationship which feels uncertain, it will never turn out well. We all think we know what we want or where we want to be or what will make us happy, but we can’t be sure until we are right there in the middle of it. You’re allowed to tip your toes into a few oceans before you jump in, you are allowed to be cautious and wait for the thing that truly makes you feel alive. You are so much better than halfway happiness just so you can feel as if you’re making progress when deep down you know you are only delaying the inevitable.
Chase your dreams, chase your passion. You do not have to get there right away.
9. People’s Social Media Makes It Look Easier Than It Was
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to social media, I will deliberately stalk people I went to university with who I know are living their best life and then feel like absolute crap for the rest of the day, asking myself “How come she made it and I haven’t yet?” Truth is, she probably put in the same amount of hard work and effort as you do, she probably worked at it every day, just like you do. She probably had days where she felt frustrated and angry and like she may as well give up, but she didn’t. And a lot of the time people end up just lucking out knowing someone who knows someone. Yes, it’s horrible that other people seem to get everything they want but people have a tendency to only show the end result on social media, not the climb it took to get there. How often do you put on Facebook or Twitter that you just binge-ate an entire bag of cheesy-puffs whilst sobbing about how unfair everything is?
10. You Are A Force Of Nature
No matter how many times you feel knocked back or deflated when you see your friends are steaming ahead without you, no matter how many times you feel like quitting the job search because your inbox is overflowing with rejections, no matter how many engagement announcements or new home statuses crowd your social media, remember that you are a force of nature. You have a fire inside of you. You are brilliant and talented and beautiful in so many ways, that the universe has all sorts of plans for you. It just takes some of us a little more time than others and that’s okay. 