Isn’t today a perfect day to read some Harry Potter jokes and then watch the entire series of movies all over again? I vote yes. All day, every day yes.
I’m not above yelling Harry Potter spells at you until you go away.
— Superhero & 00Negro (@MarcusTheToken) October 3, 2013
i ask my dates the important questions upfront like “are you cool with a harry potter themed wedding”
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) November 5, 2013
One thing a lot of people don’t realize about Harry Potter is that yes, he’s a wizard, but what’s more, he’s a friend
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) November 30, 2013
The most embarrassing thing in the Harry Potter universe is sending out a late night “Booty Owl.”
— Jonas Polsky (@JonasPolsky) November 25, 2013
messed up how they treat owls in Harry potter like oh you can fly everywhere? then deliver some mail, assholes
— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) November 24, 2013
Coolest Wizards, Most to Least: Gandalf Harry Potter Washington Pinball Adobe Installation
— Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) October 10, 2013
Harry Potter and the ___ ___ (200_) — Three children eavesdrop on people for several hours. PG.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) October 10, 2013
On your first day in jail, go up to the biggest inmate and ask them if they enjoy Harry Potter. If they do, you just got a book buddy!
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 2, 2013
Every time Harry Potter speaks Parseltongue, I just roll my eyes. It’s like, we get it, you’re the chosen one AND you’re bilingual. Chill.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 18, 2013
IF YOU DON’T SPEND EVERY MINUTE DREAMING ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER YOUR LIFE WOULD BE IF YOU WERE IN HARRY POTTER YOU’RE HORRIBLE
— Andreea H (@andreeahluscu) September 2, 2013
If I were Harry Potter, I would spend all my magic giving strangers on the street sudden, explosive diarrhea.
— Amber (@Amburglar_) August 22, 2013
Even Percy Jackson’s closest friends accidentally call him “Harry Potter” once in a while.
— Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) August 5, 2013
voldemort hates harry potter so, so much. imagine being in your late 70s and hating a teen that much. with a wrathful sincerity. hilarious
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) May 2, 2014
Harry Potter’s grandkids will probably get super uptight when he just throws the word “muggle” around like it’s the early 2000’s.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 4, 2013
Harry Potter should have let an ogre crush his head so he could go join his parents in Wizard Heaven. Like, just do nothing and you’ll win.
— Mark Leggett ✂︎ ☹ (@markleggett) April 14, 2014
2159 people have died running into walls at train stations since the Harry Potter series began.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) April 8, 2014
Watching Mary Poppins. Between this movie and Harry Potter I assume all British people are magical.
— Ann Trollter (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 12, 2014
Hey kids, Harry Potter didn’t graduate high school either.
— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) January 9, 2014