18 Hilarious Harry Potter Tweets You Need In Your Life

Isn’t today a perfect day to read some Harry Potter jokes and then watch the entire series of movies all over again? I vote yes. All day, every day yes. 

I’m not above yelling Harry Potter spells at you until you go away.

— Superhero & 00Negro (@MarcusTheToken) October 3, 2013

i ask my dates the important questions upfront like “are you cool with a harry potter themed wedding”

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) November 5, 2013

One thing a lot of people don’t realize about Harry Potter is that yes, he’s a wizard, but what’s more, he’s a friend

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) November 30, 2013

The most embarrassing thing in the Harry Potter universe is sending out a late night “Booty Owl.”

— Jonas Polsky (@JonasPolsky) November 25, 2013

messed up how they treat owls in Harry potter like oh you can fly everywhere? then deliver some mail, assholes

— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) November 24, 2013

Coolest Wizards, Most to Least: Gandalf Harry Potter Washington Pinball Adobe Installation

— Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) October 10, 2013

Harry Potter and the ___ ___ (200_) — Three children eavesdrop on people for several hours. PG.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) October 10, 2013

On your first day in jail, go up to the biggest inmate and ask them if they enjoy Harry Potter. If they do, you just got a book buddy!

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 2, 2013

Every time Harry Potter speaks Parseltongue, I just roll my eyes. It’s like, we get it, you’re the chosen one AND you’re bilingual. Chill.

— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) September 18, 2013

IF YOU DON’T SPEND EVERY MINUTE DREAMING ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER YOUR LIFE WOULD BE IF YOU WERE IN HARRY POTTER YOU’RE HORRIBLE

— Andreea H (@andreeahluscu) September 2, 2013

If I were Harry Potter, I would spend all my magic giving strangers on the street sudden, explosive diarrhea.

— Amber (@Amburglar_) August 22, 2013

Even Percy Jackson’s closest friends accidentally call him “Harry Potter” once in a while.

— Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) August 5, 2013

voldemort hates harry potter so, so much. imagine being in your late 70s and hating a teen that much. with a wrathful sincerity. hilarious

— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) May 2, 2014

Harry Potter’s grandkids will probably get super uptight when he just throws the word “muggle” around like it’s the early 2000’s.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 4, 2013

Harry Potter should have let an ogre crush his head so he could go join his parents in Wizard Heaven. Like, just do nothing and you’ll win.

— Mark Leggett ✂︎ ☹ (@markleggett) April 14, 2014

2159 people have died running into walls at train stations since the Harry Potter series began.

— Michael (@Home_Halfway) April 8, 2014

Watching Mary Poppins. Between this movie and Harry Potter I assume all British people are magical.

— Ann Trollter (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 12, 2014

Hey kids, Harry Potter didn’t graduate high school either.

— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) January 9, 2014