1. On Halloween you didn’t get to go trick-or-treating. Instead you went to a Hallelujah Party at church where everyone had to dress up like a Bible character. Basically you had to wear a bathrobe.
2. The only time you could buy CDs is if they came from here:
3. You knew about all of the hidden, Satanic messages in rock songs if you played them backwards.
4. If one of your friends got a piercing other than her earlobes your first thought was, “Well, she’s definitely going to hell!”
5. Every time you heard a loud rumble of thunder in the middle of the night you thought it was The Rapture.
6. If you grew up in Church of God, your college options were either Lee University or Lee University.
7. You knew who these guys were:
8. And also this couple:
9. You knew that Camp Meeting had nothing to do with exploring the woods.
10. Instead of calling adults Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jackson, it was Brother Smith and Sister Jackson.
11. If someone said “God is good” you knew to respond with “all the time” and then they would say “all the time” and you’d say “God is good.” It was basically a secret handshake.
12. The only R rated movie you were ever allowed to watch was The Passion of the Christ.
13. You had a cassette tape labeled “Michael W. Smith” but it was actually an MC Hammer mix tape because you would never be allowed to listen to that.
14. Everyone that had a tattoo was going to hell.
15. You got in trouble for taking the center cup out of the communion tray instead of just taking the next one in line.
16. Instead of joining the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, you were earning badges with the Royal Rangers and Missionettes.
17. You didn’t go to parties, you went to fellowship.
18. Weird Al had nothing on this guy:
19. You knew that just because the pastor said he was about to close didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep preaching for another 30-45 minutes.
20. The most terrifying experience of your life was a little production called Heaven’s Gates, Hell’s Flames.
21. Hip-hop was strictly forbidden, unless it was by this guy: