20 Signs You Were A Church Kid In The 90s
1. You attended multiple Acquire the Fire events.
2. The earliest you got up all year was for See You At The Pole day.
3. You and your friends made up motions to the chorus of “Big House” by Audio Adrenaline and thought it was the coolest thing ever.
4. The first tape you bought was more than likely Carman. It may have been Petra, but odds are, it was Carman.
5. Your youth group had matching t-shirts printed up, but one of the kid’s moms said she knew somewhere that would do it cheaper. You each saved $4, but it was the cheapest and most poorly made shirt you’ve ever seen.
6. Most stories were explained to you through childhood using a flannelgraph.
7. You were part of a mime or drama team and, at some point, did a routine to a Ray Boltz song.
8. Grits wasn’t a type of food, but the only hip-hop band you were allowed to listen to.
9. Your VHS library included at least a half dozen Focus on the Family movies as well as a few McGee and Me episodes.
10. You got all of your friend together and went to see DC Talk & Audio Adrenaline in concert. The Supertones may have been the opener if it was a good night.
11. Your youth pastor had a goatee and, more than likely a tribal cross tattoo on his arm or back.
12. You bought one of those awful shirts where they take a popular brand’s slogan and change it into something about Jesus. Like “His Way” instead of Subway or some other borderline copyright infringing pun.
13. People always asked if you were engaged because you were wearing your True Love Waits purity ring.
14. You were never allowed to watch the Smurfs, for some reason.
15. You had a WWJD bracelet in almost every color.
16. Sesame Street was cool, but you still preferred Gerbert.
17. You knew that a youth lock-in meant that at least three different couples would get caught making out in the empty Sunday School classrooms.
18. You went to Vacation Bible School so much, you knew the Christian Pledge to the Bible as well as you knew the Pledge of Allegiance.19. You know there’s a big difference between “salty” and Psalty.
20. If you were a guy, you sang “Friends Are Friends Forever” at a church event. If you were a girl, it was probably “Circle of Friends” by Point of Grace.
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Some of these people have a personal style that should have stopped in 1992.
I feel no shame when it comes to belting songs out at the top of my lungs in my car. Alone. With the windows down. I might look like a lunatic that has escaped from the local asylum, but #yolo, you know(lo).
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
6. Jameson. Or wine. Or a beer. Or even a root beer float. Have a drink or a treat. You want ice cream? Have it.