I’m slowly learning that ignoring the red flags you see in the beginning is probably the worst thing you could do to yourself because they never turn green and they never change. I’m slowly learning that the old cliche that the red flags you see in the beginning become the reasons you leave later is not a cliche at all, it’s a fact. It’s a tried and tested method. I’m slowly learning that just because you want to keep someone around doesn’t mean you lie to yourself about what you’re seeing and what you know deep inside.
I’m slowly learning that your gut is usually right, that initial feeling you get that something isn’t right, that pause that happens when you see or hear something that shows you another side of that person, that uneasy feeling you get around them when something is off and you feel like they’re either lying to you or manipulating you. These are the feelings you shouldn’t ignore because they tell you everything you need to know and eventually they become too hard to overlook. After all, you see them clearly as time goes by.
I’m slowly learning that ignoring the red flags will only hurt you because you will be staying in a relationship where you’re not getting what you want and you will always feel like you’re lowering your standards or compromising or letting a lot of things slide and that ends up holding you back from giving unconditionally, from loving freely, from trusting the other person and it ends up bringing out a different version of you. A defensive version, a doubtful version, a version that is ready to throw in the towel any minute.
I’m not saying that there won’t be any differences or challenges in your relationships, that’s normal but what’s not normal is knowing you deserve more love and respect than what you’re getting. What’s not normal is allowing someone else to make you believe that this is all they can give to you and that’s what you deserve. What’s not normal is allowing someone else to make you feel unworthy and unloved or make you feel like communicating your needs is dramatic on your part. What’s not normal is someone making you feel like you’re asking for too much when you’re asking for the bare minimum.
I’m slowly learning that leaving those who make you feel like you’re hard to love or that making an effort with you is a burden is the best choice you could make and the earlier you make it, the better. The more red flags you ignore, the more time you’ll waste because trust me, ignoring the red flags just because you like someone will only make you feel unworthy and unloved and you deserve a lot more than that. You deserve not to question how someone feels about you or how much they want you in their life.