Today I passed by the restaurant where we first met and instead of cringing, I actually smiled when I remembered how sweet the beginning was. It’s always sweet in the beginning until the bitterness seeps in. Today I remembered how naive I was thinking we could have made it work. Today I remembered our story and how I would always rewrite our ending because I didn’t want to accept that you and I won’t end up together.
Today I remembered how for the longest time I thought you were the one that got away. I lived in this story and made everyone I meet not good enough, not like you, not the same chemistry or the same vibes. Today I remembered why I never wanted our story to end, I was afraid of losing that girl that loved so passionately, the girl that would forgive even the gravest mistakes, the girl that would give a hundred extra chances and the girl that would take you back no matter how long it has been. I thought that this version of me will only exist with you and I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t want to try with someone else half-heartedly or with a broken spirit. I thought that this version of me was the best version of me.
But when I finally got over you, I outgrew that version of me because as much as I admire how passionate and loving she was, she was weak. She didn’t know her worth. She put up with a lot more than she could handle. She forgave you when you weren’t sorry and she made you her whole book when she was just a chapter in yours. I outgrew that version of me that thought loving someone else more than herself is the ultimate sign of maturity and kindness. She didn’t pay attention to herself or her needs and she ended up paying the price.
Today I smiled because I’m not that girl anymore and you don’t mean anything to me anymore. Today I smiled because I’m not the girl who would let another person cause her that much pain again or cry over losing someone who never loved her. I finally outgrew you. I finally outgrew our story. I finally outgrew the kind of love that I had for you. The unhealthy, childish, hot and cold, possessive kind of love. I finally outgrew the version of me that fell in love with someone like you.
Because that’s the best part about getting over someone, you see them for who they really are not who you want them to be and when you finally do the inner work to heal and love yourself, you will never again wait for someone to come back or cry over the one that got away or dwell on the past. The best part about getting over someone is that everything that used to make you cry now makes you laugh because you’re not hurting anymore, they’re not on a pedestal anymore and you finally see how you’re so much better off without them.
The best part about outgrowing someone is the moment you realize that you love yourself and your life a little bit more without them and that you don’t miss them. Now, they’re just a chapter in your book or maybe just a page.