The Last Time I Fought For You

The last time I fought for you, I fought with everyone who cared about me. I fought those who truly had my best interest at heart and I fought those who kept telling me you’re not right for me. I fought those who told me you had a reputation or you weren’t who you said you were. The last time I fought for you, I wanted to believe that I was right. I wanted to believe you. I wanted to prove everyone wrong and I wanted to trust my heart this time. I wanted to prove to myself that my heart wasn’t going to fail me again.

The last time I fought for you, I was truly convinced that you were not like the ones before. I knew you were honest and real. I knew you wouldn’t say something you don’t feel and you won’t make promises you can’t keep. I was convinced that you’re not like the people we despised, the ones who broke our hearts. The ones who took our feelings lightly. The ones who strung us along until they found someone else. The last time I fought for you, you told me I’d never regret choosing you.

The last time I fought for you, I knew I didn’t have much energy left in me to fight for anyone but I thought that if anyone is worth a shot, it’s you. If anyone is worth one more fight, it’s you. If anyone is worth getting into more battles with my friends and family, it’s you. The last time I fought for you, I was fighting with all my heart because I knew that if I didn’t try, I would look back and wonder what could have been and why I didn’t fight harder for someone like you.

The last time I fought for you, I was wrong. I went against my instincts, I dismissed my gut feeling and I was left empty-handed. I was left disappointed again. I was left wondering why I didn’t learn my lesson the first time around, the simple yet hard pill to swallow that fighting for people should be a two way street, that believing someone means seeing actions not just listening to words, that keeping someone in your life should be something they want just as much, that trusting someone shouldn’t just come naturally, it should be earned.

The last time I fought for you I remembered why I stopped fighting for people. It’s a war you’ll never win because the people who truly want you in their lives, the ones who truly love you and the ones who are afraid of losing you won’t make it so hard. They won’t make everything so challenging. The ones who are worth fighting for are the ones who won’t make you feel like you need to fight for them or their attention or their love or their time. They won’t start a battle every time you try to get closer. The ones who are worth fighting for are the ones who come into your life to win your heart peacefully without fighting any battles or starting any wars.

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Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me. Follow Rania on Instagram or read more articles from Rania on Thought Catalog.

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