You know you’ve healed when things don’t emotionally trigger you anymore. Other people’s hurtful words, their confusing actions, how they see you, what they say about you or how they treat you. It doesn’t get to you anymore because you know that it’s rarely about you. You know that these are just their own projections, their own fears and insecurities coming to light. They still have their own healing to do. They still have to learn how to emotionally and mentally evolve instead of taking out their troubles on other people.
You know you’ve healed when something that would have hurt you in the past no longer bothers you because you’ve gotten to the root of the problem, you understand that your trust issues or childhood issues caused you to believe that certain actions mean that you’re not good enough or not worthy of love or not valued or respected. You know you’ve healed when you’ve worked on yourself and your self-esteem to a point where no matter what someone else does to you, it doesn’t break you. You know who you are and you’ve learned never to let another human being define your worth to you.
You know you’ve healed when you’re willing to just let things and people go without anxiety. You know you’ve healed when you no longer stop trying to win their love and affection so you can feel validated. You know you’ve healed when you stop trying so hard for people who do so little for you because now you know that this is not what you deserve and now you don’t allow yourself to settle because you’ve learned that it’s better to be on your own than with someone who offers you so little and it’s better to walk away than stay and fight a losing battle.
You know you’ve healed when you no longer wait for people to come around or show up or tell you what you need to hear. You know you’ve healed when you genuinely wish them the best but go look for your happiness elsewhere. You know you’ve healed when you finally realize that all your emotional triggers and your pain were caused by how you interpreted someone’s behavior and how that scratched an old wound or triggered a painful memory because once you understand yourself and your own wounds, no one will be able to use them against you. You won’t allow people to provoke you or get to you the way they did before because every time you react to someone else’s pain, you hurt yourself more and every time you protect yourself from that kind of energy, you heal.
You know you’ve healed when you don’t seek approval from people anymore because you know that everything starts within you, that’s the real work, that’s the real challenge and that’s how you change everything around you.