Forgiveness is a very difficult art but it’s often necessary. It’s hard to forgive someone who hurt you. It’s hard to forgive someone you put on a pedestal and they knocked themselves off of it. It’s hard to forgive the closest people in your life when they hurt you or abandon you or neglect you or tell you things you can’t forget. It’s hard to forgive those you sacrificed a lot for. It’s hard to look at someone who caused you so much pain and still love them with all your heart or treat them with the same respect but sometimes we have to forgive those people and remember that they’re also human, that we have had our days when we erred too and hurt people we loved because we were still healing our own issues, we were still growing and learning how to love again, we were still evolving and we got many things wrong.
Forgiveness is a very difficult art because it’s very hard to put ourselves in other people’s shoes when we’re hurting. It’s hard to try and understand that sometimes their behavior has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their own issues and circumstances. It’s hard to understand that some people would rather sabotage their relationships because they feel like they’re unworthy of love instead of working on it. It’s hard to accept apologies we never got and it’s even harder not to attach meaning to someone’s hurtful behavior. We always attach their behavior to how they see us or how much they love us but sometimes we’re not the problem. Sometimes it’s really not us.
Forgiveness is a very difficult art because it tests our own shortcomings and insecurities. It evokes those suppressed negative emotions that we’re still trying to overcome. It brings back the voice that tells you that you’re not good enough or it’s you or you’re not valued or appreciated and it takes a lot of self-control and self-love to truly believe that you’re not the reason for their behavior. It’s hard to forgive someone who hurt you when their behavior triggers old wounds you’re still trying to heal.
But forgiveness is necessary for you more than anyone else. You can forgive people and not want them back. You can forgive people and decide to give them a second chance. You can forgive people and look past the pain they caused you because you decided to understand their pain instead of judging them for it. You can forgive people and believe that they could eventually learn and change or you could leave them alone but whatever you decide to do, the most important person you need to forgive is yourself.
Forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know, for the mistakes you’ve made, for the wrong people you’ve loved or trusted, for the decisions you made that disappointed others because if you can forgive yourself first, you’ll be able to forgive others and if you can practice the art of forgiveness throughout your life, you’ll be able to find inner peace and you will stop making someone’s actions disturb you. If you can practice the art of forgiveness, you will be able to heal not only yourself but also the most important relationships in your life.