I no longer have the energy to fight for things. I no longer have the energy to hold on tightly and try to fix what’s broken. I no longer have the energy to mend what I didn’t break. I no longer have the energy to keep asking for what I want if my requests have been previously denied. I no longer have the energy to be calm around those who tick me off or be understanding with those who don’t consider my feelings. I no longer have the energy to be generous with selfish people or waste my time with someone who’s stingy with theirs.
I no longer have the energy to wait for people. I have learned that those who want something always find a way to do it. They don’t let anything get in the way but those who don’t will always find a way to delay it. I no longer have the energy to blame things on timing instead of people. I no longer have the energy to lie to myself.
I’ve always been a firm believer in fighting for the things you want and I still am but I’ve realized that there are a few exceptions. You can’t fight for things you’ve already fought for a thousand times before. You can’t fight for people who aren’t fighting for you. You can’t fight for things that are not yours. You can’t fight for things that keep getting blocked for some divine reason and you can’t fight for things that could destroy you. You can’t fight for things that you need to stay away from.
I no longer have the energy to spend my time fighting. Yes sometimes it’s necessary but that can’t be what my life is about because I’ve seen the other side of things, the things that kind of fall into your lap effortlessly and seamlessly without any fight. The things that kind of blend in perfectly with who you are and what you believe in. The timing that doesn’t get in the way. The circumstances that are perfectly aligned with yours. The people who don’t drive you crazy with mixed signals and confusing behavior. The things that just come into your life and bring you peace, joy and stability.
I’ve seen the other side and it’s much simpler over there. It feels safe. It feels good. Sometimes we get used to a difficult life and we think that we have to spend the rest of our lives fighting battles and trying to ‘win’ but other times we get tired of this life and we just gravitate towards a simpler one without any battles, without any losing or winning because things just make happen organically. Things flow smoothly when everyone is on the same page.
I no longer have the energy to fight for anyone but myself.