When you get used to goodbyes, nothing really surprises you anymore. You’re not afraid that people might leave and you’re not holding on to someone because you can’t imagine your life without them. When you get used to goodbyes, you get used to being alone. You still feel sad or heartbroken but it never takes over your life, it never stops you from knowing you’re a person worth loving and it never makes you doubt yourself.
When you get used to goodbyes, you no longer try too hard to fit in or make someone love you. You don’t really change who you are so you can be with someone because you’ve learned that you could say and do all the right things but it doesn’t always make people stay. When you get used to goodbyes, you stop playing games because it seems like no one ever truly wins.
When you get used to goodbyes, you get used to leaving too. You get used to walking away when you’re being mistreated. You know how to detach when things are no longer healthy for you. You don’t feel like it’s the end of the world if you leave even if you don’t know where you’re going or what’s going to happen next. When you get used to goodbyes, you get used to instability, inconsistency and uncertainty. Your life never really felt like a straight line, it was always zigzags and twists and turns. Your life never really had one path but it was always a bunch of different paths that you had to explore all by yourself.
When you get used to goodbyes, you get used to pain. You learn how to live with it instead of avoiding it. You don’t let it consume you anymore. In a way, it trains you to face certain challenges alone instead of running away from them. It trains you to expect the unexpected somehow. It trains you that you can trust people and fall in love with them but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay and it doesn’t mean that they won’t move to another country and it doesn’t mean that they’ll always be by your side. When you get used to goodbyes, you learn that you can be as open and as vulnerable as you can be and it still won’t be enough.
When you get used to goodbyes, you learn how to appreciate your own company and accept your flaws and your demons because no matter who’s sleeping next to you now, you could eventually wake up and find yourself sleeping alone and no matter how many beautiful promises you’ve heard, you know that some of them are empty. When you get used to goodbyes, forever is not linked to someone else, forever is linked to you and only you.
