Years later, I finally understood the essence of closure. The closure that I was chasing for years. I finally got it and it was a lot simpler than what I had in mind. It came in the form of patience as I saw everything I ever wanted unfold before my eyes and finally got the answers to all the burning questions I had. Years later, the closure came in the form of just letting things be and letting people realize their own mistakes. Years later, the real closure was simply me moving on from everything that broke me and healing myself instead.
Because the real essence of closure is within you, it’s not what you get or hear from others. The real closure is you making peace with unfinished endings and unanswered questions and people who hurt you. The real closure comes when you’re not looking for it. You finally hear that long-awaited apology when you’re not seeking it as a way to validate your worth or value. You get that one message you’ve been waiting for when you stop staring at your phone. People come back to correct their wrongs only when you’re doing fine without them.
The real essence of closure is not trying to get people to realize what they’ve done wrong, it’s more about you learning to live without receiving that closure or understanding why people did what they did. It’s more about learning how to separate who you are from what people do. It’s more about learning that closure is something you can find on your own whether people give it to you or not because the best kind of closure will always be the one you get after you’ve truly healed and moved on. The best closure will always be the one that doesn’t define you. The one that comes to you for reassurance, not survival.
But the worst kind of closure is the closure you seek for your own survival, for your own validation as if your worth is defined by it or your life depended on it. The worst kind of closure is the closure you seek because you think it says something about you or the one you seek because you think that’s the only remedy to your broken heart or the one you seek because you think it could change someone’s mind about you. The worst kind of closure is the one you seek because you think it will make you doubt yourself less or love yourself more.
Years later, I finally understood the essence of closure. After any heartbreak, after any tragedy, after any loss, your closure will come from you. In the ways you choose to rise up, in the ways you choose to heal, in the ways you choose to try again and start over. Your closure begins with you and anything else that comes after that shouldn’t matter because if your closure is that you’re enough and you’re capable on your own then trust me when I say you will never again need closure from anyone. You will never again need someone’s approval to survive.