I’m slowly learning how to be at ease when things fall apart and I have to start over. I’m slowly learning how to trust those new beginnings once more, how to trust in the rebirth of things and people, including myself. I’m slowly learning that with every new beginning, I find another lost piece of myself, and with every new adventure, I fall in love with something I never thought I’d love. I’m slowly learning that new beginnings could be scary and confusing but they could also be spectacular and extraordinary.
I’m slowly learning how to let that fear go; the fear of shaking my stability, the fear of things falling apart, the fear of short-lived happiness, the fear of the low after the high. I’m slowly learning how to take a big leap of faith, how to jump, how to just go for things that move my heart instead of always having one foot in and foot out. I’m slowly learning that running away is not always the solution. I’m slowly learning how to be brave again, how to stick around even when I’m scared, how to go all in without holding back.
I’m slowly learning how to let new people in, I’m slowly learning that some people do say what they mean and they come into your life to brighten it up, they come into your life to show you a new kind of love. The kind of love that stays. I’m slowly learning that not everyone is out to get me or break my heart. I’m slowly learning how to reawaken my faith in people and their ability to love and their ability to open my heart again, I’m slowly learning that people can see all the different sides of me and stay.
And I’m slowly learning how to trust myself again, how to get back in touch with my intuition, how to trust my transformation or my growth or my rebirth. I’m slowly learning that all this hard work I put into myself and all those tough experiences that left scars inside my heart or stitches inside my brain all contributed to who I am today. They were all part of the bigger picture, they were all strokes I needed to sharpen my edges. I’m slowly learning that what breaks me isn’t what counts, but what truly counts, what truly matters, is how I put my pieces back together, how I take all those broken pieces and mend them. I’m slowly learning that things don’t always fall apart to give you an ending, but sometimes they fall apart to give you a new beginning.
I’m slowly learning how to trust new beginnings again even if it means going back on everything I once dearly believed in, even if it means letting go of people I once dearly loved.