People don’t tell you that they’re toxic for you, if anything, they tell you they love you, they’ll always be there for you and that they only want what’s best for you until you realize that sometimes the source of your darkness and your pain are the people who claim to protect you from such unwanted relationships.
You start noticing little things like how your energy is off when they’re around, like how things that are supposed to work out smoothly don’t anymore, like how all of a sudden you spill your coffee or forget your wallet or stumble and fall when they’re around you watching your every move.
I know you know who they are or at least have an inkling about it because that’s how it started for me. Something about them makes you uncomfortable, something about their baggage makes yours feel heavier, something about their soul sheds more darkness on you than light. Something about the kind of people in their lives rubs off on you and suddenly you’re dealing with drama and manipulation and people who don’t want to see you happy just because you’re associated with their person one way or another.
What you don’t realize about these toxic relationships is that more often than not, they’re the people you deal with on a daily basis. It could be a parent, a close friend, a boss and the hardest pill to swallow; the person you’re dating or in love with. You’re suddenly enlightened or awakened and you realize you’re in a codependent relationship with them, that if it was completely up to you, you wouldn’t choose them to be in your life but somehow you’re attached. You think you need them. Whether you need them for financial support, emotional support or both, you’re in these relationships because you have to not because you want to. You think these relationships can’t be replaced.
And this is when it will hit you, that some toxic relationships are disguised as normal, even happy relationships. Some toxic relationships are disguised as healthy relationships and it’s only when you lose them that you realize how toxic they really were. How they were forced. How you weren’t completely yourself and how these relationships fed off your insecurities rather than your love.
But trust me you don’t need these relationships. You don’t need these people. The parent who wanted to control you without learning how to love or understand you. The friends who once claimed to be there for you in sickness and in health but later judged you when you did something they didn’t approve of and poured all their judgments and negativity on you because they simply didn’t agree with your choices. The person who swept you off your feet to make someone else jealous because they saw that you were lost and vulnerable and could easily be manipulated.
Trust me, you don’t need them. You were codependent, you might still be but as long as you can recognize that, you’re on the road to detaching yourself from such unfulfilling relationships. You’re on your way to being independent again, free from relationships that do more harm than good, free from relationships that only feed on manipulation and lies. Free from relationships that use you as bait for their own spiteful interests.
Trust me, once you let go of your attachment to these relationships, you’ll stumble upon blessing after blessing. You’ll find your childlike spirit and happiness again because wiping away negativity only breeds more positive experiences. Wiping away toxic relationships makes room for healthy and strong ones to arise. Relationships that are free from pain. Free from drama. Free from bitterness.