Thought Catalog

Those Who Need Love The Most Will Almost Never Find It

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God & Man

Those who need love the most will always look for it in the wrong places. In the arms of the wrong people. In hearts that don’t want them. In people who don’t want to change. Those who need love the most will certainly try to fix people, they’ll try to repair the damage, they’ll try to do whatever it takes to make something work even if it already broke down a hundred times before.

Those who need love the most don’t really have an example to follow. They were deprived of that kind of love growing up. They didn’t see their parents love each other, they saw them fight and argue over everything and nothing. They weren’t told they’re beautiful or smart or strong, they weren’t taken care of. They were left to find themselves on their own, they were taught that relationships should be hard, complicated and challenging. They were taught a kind of love that doesn’t nurture them and they got used to accepting that sad reality.

Those who need love the most will always settle for less. They’ll accept whatever they can get. They’ll stay in toxic relationships hoping that eventually things will change. They’ll go after emotionally unavailable people because of their twisted logic that this is what they know, this is what they’re used to or worse, they think this is what they deserve. They’ll chase the wrong people. They’ll give more chances and keep screwing themselves over. They’ll do anything to prove that they are worthy of any kind of love, that they can keep a partner or make a relationship work.

Those who need love the most are living in contradiction, because they know what to avoid. They know what kind of love they don’t need in their lives yet they keep falling for that kind of love. They keep asking for love from those who already broke their hearts. They keep going back to their past and how they never truly felt loved and think they’re just not meant to have great love story or find the love they’ve always dreamed of. They’re just not meant to find long-lasting love like their friends. They’re just born to struggle.

But those who need love the most should just stop for a minute. Maybe they won’t find it but maybe it will find them. Maybe love will just come around and sweep them off their feet. Maybe the key is for them to love themselves before love finds them. And maybe when love finds them, it will be worth the wait, worth the pain, worth the struggle and it will slowly heal all the broken pieces, it will slowly erase the past, it will slowly teach them that no one is every too broken or too damaged to be loved.

Maybe when love finds them, they’ll finally understand that their past doesn’t have to define them forever and they can create a better future. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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Rania Naim

Writing. Living. Loving. Dreaming. Healing. Evolving.

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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