1. Liquid Panthenol:

Perhaps the most offensive beauty product I own, Liquid Panthenol (in liquid, not foam, form), is used mainly for cancer patients who lose their hair. The formula is great for sensitive scalps and also promotes hair growth. Another crucial fact: this wasn’t my idea. It was touted by Anja Rubik and as a weak consumer I just blindly followed suit. But damn, this shit works. Apparently you can make it at home using B5 powder:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO3kNz5j7f8%5D

2. Dior Gentle Cleansing Milk:

Yeah, you heard me: Dior milk for your face. For something that’s stamped with “Dior” and is almost 7 ounces, it’s not too expensive at all ($22.00 right now on Amazon). It comes out of the bottle looking like moisturizer and smells like it should be illegal. It’s also made “with velvet peony extract” because why not? Apparently you’re supposed to rub it on your face gently and in circular motions, but frankly I’m not sure how someone could mess up washing their face with this if they tried.

3. Rejuvacote:

There are those who like to get professional manicures and those who don’t. Personally I’m of the latter camp; I would rather spend my money procuring an array of polish colors than on professional manicures. And after inhaling two bottles worth of top coat, I’ve finally found a polish that will protect my nails from nail-destroying activities like changing your duvet cover or folding up cardboard boxes. And that product is Rejuvacote. Incidentally, this will also have you feeling like less of a peasant slave when performing these duties.

4. Fish Oil Pills:

Popping three of these babies a day is a great way to get that post-coital glow sans coital. Just make sure to buy the flavorless ones, lest you want to be burping up a cod flavor every 15 minutes.

5. La Roche-Posay Thermal Spring Water:

So…this is water in a bottle. If you’re thinking what I was thinking the first time this product was brought to my attention (“but we already get free water from our faucets…?”), then good; that’s a normal reaction. In fact I’d be a little concerned if you hadn’t reacted that way. However, the benefits of this “eau” in a bottle are just too good to ignore. Every unwanted particle or element in your tap water is eliminated in this spritzer, which contains mineral salts, “trace elements such as Selenium,” antioxidants and soothing powers. A mere three-second spritz over your face post-face-wash is enough to see results.

6. Baby Powder:

I’ve made my case for Baby Powder an inordinate number of times on Thought Catalog, and I’m not afraid to make it again. For anyone who struggles with thin or grease-prone hair, this is your solution. Don’t even look at dry shampoo — those are dead to you. They cost significantly more and don’t leave your hair with the soft, brushed-out texture that Baby Powder does. And if anyone complains that you smell like a baby’s ass, they’re just jealous.

7. Glam Glow:

Thanks to Glam Glow, there’s a good chance my face is glowing right now. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if you were having trouble seeing at the moment because of the glare from my glowing skin. Just know: your eyes will eventually adjust.

I got my hands on this guy using my Sephora points — 200 points to be exact. The cool thing about it is that it’s a clay mask, but smells downright delicious. I never thought I’d be the Sunday-face-mask type, but it’s actually a great way to pass the time and to scare away the pigeons on your windowsill.