Decided to buy a dog from a hippie outside a burrito stand. 11 years later and she is laying right next to me, wagging her tail a little when I look down at her.
Finally getting the courage to call up and ask out a girl I really liked one Friday night by asking, “What’s a pretty girl like you doing home on a Friday night?” Turns out it was Wednesday and I was incredibly drunk. We are now married.
Should I pee on the police car while he is questioning my friend? I should not.
Not posting anything to Facebook. It’s never as funny the next morning.
As I was leaving the club a guy needed a t-shirt to get in because he had worn a tank top and there was a dress code. Being how I was drunk, I began bargaining with the guy. In the end I helped the guy out by trading my undershirt for 2 cigarettes. According to prison standards I made a great deal.
Got drunk, flipped a quarter at the bar, it landed on heads, I went back to college.