One day, I realized that I was saying “sorry” all wrong. It’s taken me long enough to realize that I don’t owe it to anyone to be sorry about these 33 things, and quite frankly, neither do you.
1. Being Who I Am
I know why this is a thing, but for a long time, I felt awkward in my skin and the space that occupied. Rather than embracing both things, I would apologize. Sorry for breathing, sorry for having an opinion, sorry for being the way that I am. And then one day it hit me, this is not a way to live. I don’t owe anyone an apology for being here, there, or anywhere.
News flash: neither do you.
2. Not Thinking Something Is Funny
Laughter should always be genuine. Why do we laugh at bad jokes that aren’t bad in a good way? I am not sure, but I can tell you that I don’t anymore. If I don’t get it, I don’t laugh and it feels great. It is actually very liberating because when I do laugh, I know that I mean it every single time.
3. When People Bump Into Me On The Street
Whenever a stranger bumps into me, I mumble sorry even if they never do. I have worked to train myself to simply move past the moment. I do not need to apologize for something that is not my error.
4. Things I Am Not Sorry About
I am done apologizing simply because society teaches that it is best to be sorry. I for one am not sorry half the time when I feel an urge to apologize. It takes away some of the conviction when I truly am apologetic, so I just bite my tongue and think of something else until the moment passes. I try to only say sorry when I mean it.
5. Bad Behavior Of Other People
If someone is rude, why am I sorry? I am not responsible for their life decisions. How can I be sorry for someone else’s actions or lack thereof. It made no sense to me so I have decided to stop. I can only be accountable for me after all.
6. My Personal Style
I do not need to apologize for dressing up when others don’t, or for wearing overalls when I want to. I can wear a fro, a wig, braids, shave my head, buy a dress, wear pants instead, it really is my call. I love my style and enjoy experimenting with it. For that, I owe not one person an apology.
7. Not Being Into Pets
#NotSorry. Some people love their dogs, some people love their cats, some love reptiles, and some like fish. You get the point. They don’t say sorry. Why should I? I like my home pet-free. I have tried to force myself to like pets, but I just don’t and I won’t pretend anymore. I can think some are cuter than others, but I will never own one and that is okay with me.
8. Asking For Help
I always use to start with “Sorry” when I asked for help and now I just ask. It’s perfectly normal to not know everything and asking for help is how we learn. No need to apologize for wanting to develop.
9. Not Cleaning All The Time
I think a lot of people do this. When someone unexpectedly pops into town or wants to stop at my place, the first thing I do is apologize for the mess if there is one. Well, at least I used to. Now I just say “yes” or “no” if I thinking stopping over is a good idea. I can’t clean every day and live the life that I do. So I am okay with my human limits, and I know now that I am okay to set the limits from time to time.
10. For My Boundaries
I used to apologize for not sharing certain details of my life, but truthfully not everything is everyone’s business. I have a right to privacy. Plus, boundaries are essential. No need to apologize for necessities.
11. When I Do Well
I think this was my way of trying to make people feel better about themselves or for me to feel like I wasn’t drawing attention to myself, but in reality, it is stupid. If I do well, I do well. No need to shame me for that or for me to hide my accomplishments. There are enough people in the world who are not on my side, I don’t need to tear me down too.
12. Telling The Truth When Asked
When people ask a question, and I answer it honestly… the last thing I need to follow up my response with is “sorry” because I am not. I am telling the truth. How can I apologize for that when they asked for it? I don’t have to be a jerk to be honest and I definitely won’t apologize for honesty either.
13. Eating What I Want
Free will, yo. I don’t know why I would apologize for eating things that I paid for to put into my body. Senseless. *eats the damn thing*
14. Getting Up And Doing What Needs To Be Done
Why am I apologizing for doing what I notice needs to be done? I realized that whenever I did this it was actually a super passive way of calling people out for not doing what I thought they should be doing. I didn’t like that, so I stopped. Now I just do the thing in silence (or with headphones) and it’s cool.
15. Standing Up For What I Believe In
If I can’t stand for it or on it then I don’t believe in it. I am proud of myself when I believe in something enough to stand my ground for it. It should make me proud, not want to apologize.
Sue me. I saw your message and didn’t respond. Life happens. Why should I have to succumb to the pressure of immediate responses? Life happens. Nevertheless, I do not turn my read receipts on for the sake of not dealing with that kind of drama, but I don’t feel rushed to respond/or have someone respond to me. I believe in breathing and I don’t think anyone needs to apologize for that.
17. Taking Some Me Time
I need space. You need space. This is not grounds for an apology. This is a testament of our anatomy. Pauses are so healthy and essential. The apology for it? Incredibly needless.
18. Using My Money For Things I Enjoy Too
I don’t just work to pay bills. Why should I hide my new watch, nice dress, and/or new accessories? I budget and spend when I can. I work for my money so I can spend it on myself as well as others; no apology needed.
19. The Upgrade
In line with the spending of my money. Upgrading my phone, laptop, camera, etc.? I don’t see why I need to say sorry for that. If it needed to be done…It will be done.
20. Having A Good Time
Life is short as is. I don’t want to spend it being miserable. I can enjoy my life and be present in the moments. I don’t need to check my phone every 8 seconds or be at anyone’s beck and call. I can have a good time. It’s essential really.
21. Binging On TV/Social Media
Not. Every. Day. Must. Be. Productive. Sometimes, taking time for me to me means shutting off. It means forgetting about the world and tuning into the television, and that is OK.
22. Going To The Gym
I have some friends who complain about their bodies but do nothing to change it, and that is not my burden to carry. If I want to work out, I work out. If I don’t, I don’t. I don’t tell people how to live and they don’t owe it to me to be healthy or unhealthy so I will not be shamed or made to feel guilty for going to the gym. My body, my call.
23. Eating A Lot
When I want to eat, by golly, I eat. No apology. I have some crumbs left on the plate though if you’re interested. *belch* whoops.
24. My Morals
My morals are my beliefs and my boundaries married together to make me. I already said I cannot and will not apologize for who I am, so looks like my morals are here to stay. If that gets pushed/challenged too much in a disrespectful manner…you may not have the opportunity to keep pushing those boundaries.
25. Wearing Too Much Or Too Little Make-Up
“Pretty is not the rent I pay to be a woman” is a quote/belief that I stand on. I can wear as much or as little as I desire. It is not up to anyone else how I present myself. If I commit to it and walk out my home that way, then that is what it’s going to be.
26. Being Stressed Out
My stress is mine to experience, to feel, and to deal with. I don’t need to put my stress on anyone else, but I also don’t need to say sorry for being stressed about anything.
27. Talking A Lot/Too Little
If I am comfortable, I will share. If I am not, I won’t. If someone doesn’t want to listen, they can excuse themselves. If they do, they can ask. No need for apologizing here.
28. Double Posting On The Internet
My social media, my decisions. If I post twice, I can. If I don’t post at all, I also can. Plus, who would I apologize to for this, really?
29. Being Busy
Sometimes, people in my life want to hang out with me and I have plans. I don’t need to apologize for that. We are adults, we can plan another time. It’ll work out, no need for guilt.
30. Trying Something New
I don’t have to live my life doing the same old because certain people in my life are more comfortable that way. If it makes someone else uncomfortable or if it doesn’t, is not really why I do or don’t do things. If I want to try, I should. Life is so short and limited edition. Seriously, we only get one shot. Why are we trying to spend it being sorry all the time?
31. Changing My Mind
We are people. People change, minds included. It happens, it should happen, and when it happens, I don’t need to always be sorry. Sometimes, it’s for the best. Sometimes, it leads to a learning opportunity. Either way, I should simply own my decisions and what comes along with it.
32. Someone Else’s Bad Mood
Not. My. Fault. Hey, I understand that people around me can be in a bad mood, and I can care for them, but I am not obligated to now be in a bad mood. I can be happy. I am not responsible for anyone’s sadness. I can sympathize, but it should not be expected that I rescind my happiness in response.
33. Being Happy
My happiness is a gift to me, as it would be to anyone else. I have no need to say sorry for being happy. You don’t either. Smile instead, and live your life.