To say it was painful is an understatement. To say that you hurt me is an even bigger understatement. The truth is, if you had left a dozen stab wounds on my body, the way you did to my mind and heart, you would be imprisoned but no one ever imprisons anyone for the near-fatal crime of breaking someone’s heart. It took me years to get over you. It took me days to simply pull myself together and lead a normal life. It took so long that the pain began to feel like second nature to me, it began to feel like it was consumption rather than just heartbreak.
And still, as I sit here writing this, I want to say thank you. Thank you because even with all the pain and the heartache and the pain, I do not regret you, you were not a mistake. You were not something to forget easily. And you taught me some of the most important lessons I have ever learned in my entire life. You taught me that people, no matter how much they promise they will stay, like the leaves in autumn, go. You taught me that anyone who promises you forever is lying to you. You taught me that hurt is a natural part of love. You taught me how flawed expectations are as a whole. You were a lesson not a mistake.
You were the universe’s present, wisdom in the form of a human, sent to me at just the right time, to tell me how much I need to evolve and grow and become someone who I am proud of. I needed to have my heart broken this badly. I needed to be hurt this much to know how deeply I feel, how much I truly can love. I needed to breathe and feel the pain to this extent. You gave me this and for that I am forever grateful. You have changed me as a human, fundamentally and forever.
So wherever you are, despite the pain you caused me, I hope nothing but the best for you. I want to thank you for the heartbreak. I want to thank you for being a lesson to me in so many ways. I want to thank you for the damage you did to me. Because without that damage I do not think I would be the very best version of me. The me I see and feel today.