Almost relationships, jobs you got fired from, people ghosting you, never knowing why any of these things happened, holding the guilt from memories you have gone over and over again trying to figure out what you did wrong, the truth is you may never know. However, one of the most terrible things about the human psyche is our need for closure. We need to know why things happened the way they did, what caused them to happen and reasons.
So we circle in our own heads, pacing, making a path that confuses us beyond anything. We bring up reasons, we birth issues that never existed, all in search of an answer, a reason to tie those lose ends together. And in the process we damage our own healing by not letting go.
It took me a long time to learn this, but some things weren’t meant to be tied up into a neat little bow and put away. Some things weren’t supposed to be anything more than brief little lessons. Some people weren’t meant to be put into a box for you to revisit in the future. Because everything about growth is messy and painful and full of tragedy you may never understand.
Closure is what you make of it. What matters is how the thing you are seeking closure for affected you. What lessons you took from it. And how easily you are willing to let it go.
In not getting closure you are getting a lesson from the universe. That this is part of the process. That this is what will help you deal with other issues you may have at a later time in your life.
Look at the world around you. Nature is full of loose ends. Animals (barring a rare few species) literally never see their children again after they are old enough to look after themselves. Nature is brutal with how animals and birds conduct themselves too. There are no concrete ties anywhere. The sea does not mourn the loss of anyone that has sunk in her depths. The ocean asks for closure from the hurricane. The forest never demands closure for the trees that burned down in a wildfire. Even universe does not miss shooting stars.
From this, take your lesson. You do not need closure from anyone else except yourself to let go. Simply mourn, and then let go.