I am not the fairytale kind of girl. I have had my heart broken far too many times to expect that kind of story with anyone. Once upon a time I used to be her, I used to be the kind of girl that believed forever was a thing that could happen for me, but the truth is, it is a very rare thing to have the kind of love my grandparents had. The truth is, it is a rare thing for the person you love to love you in equal measures back.
So when I date you, I am not expecting a forever love. I have given up that expectation a long time ago. But what I can promise you, is whilst you are with me, you will be loved so well. I will give you everything you could possibly ask for. Because I know I only have you for a short time. I consider our love the kind of love that will burn strong and hot, until one day it too will become just ashes. But whilst it burns, I will do everything I can to keep the flame alive.
I will give you affection on your saddest days. I will hold you when the world feels like it is too much for you. I will become the home you need. I will become the softness you have craved. I will give you all the independence you want, and in return, all I ask for is loyalty and respect. I need you to be there for me too. And I need you to hold me close on the days when the nightmares are so bad I can barely breathe. I promise you, you are not a lifeline to me. I will not cling to you to save me till we both drown. Instead, I want us to be a lifeboat together. I want us to lift each other up, support, encourage each other.
Just don’t lie to me and promise me forever please. I have already spent hours wasted with people who promised me that and ended up as temporary as the seasons. People can’t promise each other forever. We have no control over the circumstances life will bring to us. So I will love you so much more if we do not promise each other forever.
I already know that you will leave. I just want us to remember each other so well after we end.
Our days are numbered. So let us love each other, as much as we can, as hard as we can whilst we are here, in this moment, in this time, in these short, beautiful days. Let us love each other, because this is all the time we will get, this is as much of a fairytale as we can have.