Nobody tells you that losing a friend is as painful as losing a lover. No one warns you that the way you lose someone who once thought the world of you and now thinks nothing at all can be the most painful thing, the worst way you can fall apart. No one says how some friendships were just not built to last no matter how much you want them to.
To every friend I have ever lost along the way: I am sorry. I miss you. I hope the pain I caused, the grief I caused wasn’t permanent in any way. I hope the heartache I caused, like me, was temporary in your life. I want you to know that if I had a chance to do it over, I would take it in a heartbeat so you are still in my life. You had worth to me, you were valuable to me. Please don’t think that I did not value you, because if that were true, we would have never been friends at all.
To every friend who I have left: I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me my flaws and my reasons. I hope I explained to you why I left, why I chose a path where you were not on it and although there are never any good reasons for that, there is never any good reason for any of these kind of things, I hope I was at least kind and considerate when I was in your life. I hope I added some value. I know there are things, positive things I have learned from you that I will never forget.
To the friends that chose to leave without rhyme nor reason from my life: I still don’t know what I did wrong, but I choose to forgive you. Abandonment is the cruellest way you can choose to leave a person and I have found it in my heart to forgive you, not for you, but for myself. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy. And I hope no one ever leaves you wondering, the way you left me wondering what I did wrong. Because no one deserves that. Not even someone who practices or chooses that themselves.
The people you love and lose along the way, they are still beautiful in their own ways. Some may have brutally cut you off, some may have made you doubt your self worth, some may have just disappeared one fine day, or some, you just become a stranger to as time goes on.
The lessons you will learn from each of these people are unforgettable: how to choose the people you love better. Who is truly someone who will stay with you through everything. How to love better. How to forget the people that caused you pain. How to reassure the people who mean the world to you.
The friends that are temporary in your life are just as important as the friends that are permanent. They teach you to value those who will stay so much more. And every happy memory, no matter whether you lose the person within it, is as valuable as diamonds are, but more to the human soul.