For The Women Who Already Know They Deserve Better (And Don’t Need To Hear It From Him)

young blond woman confident near subway
God & Man

You already know that you deserve someone who makes an effort. Someone who will be there for the moments that matter to you, even if they don’t matter all that much to him. Love is selfless, and often when we do things for the ones we love, it’s not necessarily because we want to, but because we know if it means a lot, if it’s truly important to them, we’ll do it no questions asked. The things that mean the world to the ones we love might not mean the world to us, but it’s this wonderful person who we’d do anything for that truly matters, and simply by association we begin to support them in the things that they care about, the dreams that they strive to make reality, and the many endeavors that they take on.

We begin to care about the things that they care about simply because we love them, and that’s a huge part of what love is. It’s love when you show up. It’s love when you can admit that you care. It’s these very basic things that mean a lot when you do them that make love so simple and so complicated all at once.

He told you that he cared about you, and he told you that you meant a lot to him, but he didn’t show it. He didn’t show up. And when he let you down, when he didn’t make the effort, when he left you waiting for an answer, when he left you wondering what it is that you did wrong, if it’s you or if it’s him and his life that made him so distant, when he began to disappoint you, and he became aware of it, that’s when he told you that you deserve better. But you already knew it, and you know it to this day.

You know that you deserve someone who wakes up excited to tell you good morning. You know that you deserve a person who doesn’t just say, “I love you,” but a person who proves it. You know that you deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re a burden, like you’re being too clingy, or too attached, too much. You know that you deserve someone who thinks you’re just the right amount. You’re not too much, or too little, you’re perfect in every imperfect way. You deserve someone who feels this way about you.

You don’t need him to tell you that you deserve better. You don’t need him to tell you how wonderful you are, how lucky someone else will be to have you. You don’t need his affirmation, his testimony to how fucking awesome of a person you are. You know all of these things. You know you’re incredible, and you sure as hell don’t need him to tell you that. Let him say it, and then let him walk away. Let him see that you know what you deserve, and that you don’t plan to settle on another guy like him who clearly can’t give it to you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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