How To Ruin The Beauty Of Everything You Have By Constantly Looking For What’s Next

sad girl looking up through window
God & Man

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in looking forward that we forget to see what’s in front of us already. Sometimes we let the worry of tomorrow ruin the beauty of today.

We create standards for ourselves that we most of the time can’t keep up with. We worry that everyone else’s standards are so much higher, that everyone else expects so much more from us, that what we’re currently doing, what we currently have, is not enough compared to everyone else.

We do it with love. We set benchmarks. We date mindlessly only until we reach a certain age before we begin to take it seriously. And once we hit that age we begin to measure time in terms of life events. How long we have to date someone before they’ll want to marry us, how long we’ll have to be married before we can bear children, or how long we can be alone before any of those things become an impossibility, how long before our clock that everyone says is ticking, runs out. I don’t know if we worry about what’s next because we don’t want to face the truth of what is right now, or if we worry about it just because we’re never happy with where we currently are, but I know that we ruin what is good about the present by worrying too much about the future.

I know that we ruin the joys of today, the joy of being on our own, exploring, experiencing, and authentically living life just because we can, when we surrender to pressure that makes us feel like it’s not okay to be alone, that it’s not normal or acceptable. Don’t settle down with someone just because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do. Don’t try to create love where it’s not meant to flourish simply because you think having love will bring your life together.

Don’t ruin the beauty of being on your own today simply because you fear you’re running out of time, that you have to find someone to spend the rest of your life with soon, or you’ll never have love at all. Real love is not something that understands time limits, or bench marks, only convenient love understands that. Convenient love is the kind of love we settle for when we ruin the beauty of everything we have by constantly looking for what’s next.

And we don’t just do it with love, we do it with almost everything. We do it in our careers when we get promotions, raises, bonuses. Rather than just feeling happy, feeling thankful and lucky and fortunate for what we earned, for what we worked hard to earn, we wonder how do I get more? We wonder how do I compare? How do I become as good as him or her or them, how do I become better?

It’s good to think about your future, to want to better yourself and your life. It’s good to not remain stagnant, to grow and learn and work hard at what you do, but take a moment to let the joy of today sink in. Take a moment to not compare yourself to him or her or them and just be you, enjoy you, and be proud of you. Take a breath and realize that it took a lot for you to get here, and that here isn’t as bad as you think it is. Here is a good place to be. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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