12 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore About Him Just Because You Want It To Work


1. He tries to change certain things about you.

The person you are with should not try to change what they don’t like about you. They should accept the qualities they deem as imperfections, and learn to love them because your imperfections make you whole, and they can’t only love one part of you. You are who you are, and you’ve come this far to figure it out, so don’t allow him to change that.

2. He has unrealistic expectations.

You are not wonder woman. You cannot be in two places at once, and you cannot control someone else’s happiness. You can try to make him happy with all that you have, but with unrealistic expectations it is likely he’ll never be fully satisfied.

3. He wants to be the center of your universe.

You have other people in your life who care deeply about you, and you care deeply about them in return. If he can’t appreciate that, immediate red flag.

4. He is extremely critical of everything you do.

Nothing you do will ever be perfect, and in his mind ever good enough. Don’t waste your energy trying to avoid his criticism, because even if you do something to the best of your ability, he will find something wrong with it. Move on, let him find someone else who will obsess over the little things like he does.

5. He makes you feel like you should be lucky to have him.

But he never makes you feel as though he is the lucky one. You might be thankful that he is in your life, but if he never expresses how thankful he is that you are in his, the red warning signs should be flashing, with yellow caution tape and sirens blaring, and anything else that signals this is wrong.

6. He moves way too fast.

You know your own comfort level and how slow or fast you like to take things. So when you feel like he is moving too fast, he is. Don’t ignore your intuition.

7. He is self centered to a fault.

You know he’s great or you wouldn’t be wasting your time with him, but if he is the most important person in his life it usually means he isn’t ready to share it with anyone else. Confidence is a plus, but the same amount of confidence he has in himself, he should make you feel in your relationship, and in turn yourself.

8. He is hot and cold worse than a Katy Perry song.

He’s quiet, then he’s loud. He’s happy, then he’s sad. He’s hyper, then he’s tired. Cue the Katy Perry lyrics and she’ll tell you all about it. If he’s up and down, forget about him. You deserve someone who’s somewhat stable.

9. He judges your past.

You can’t change your past, so if he keeps bringing it up, and can’t seem to ever accept it…red flag. This isn’t Back to the Future, and there is no Flux Capacitor that can take you back in time.

10. He only shows you affection in private.

When it is just you and him, he’s all about you, but as soon as you’re around your friends or his, you may as well be a fly on the wall. Something isn’t right if he only gives you attention when you’re alone. PDA is annoying, but if no one would ever guess you two are even dating, there’s something off.

11. He is controlling.

You just go along with what he says and what he wants, without realizing that the entire time you never voiced your own opinion. Speak up, and don’t let him run the show.

12. There’s something about him that you’ve always questioned.

You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know with him you’ve never been 100% certain or sure. That is your gut telling you this isn’t right. Listen. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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