17 Pieces Of Self-Care You Have To Learn Before Entering Your Twenties

Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

1. There is solace in solitude.

Of course, there are times when you need to drown out you sorrows and miseries by spending time with people. However, it doesn’t hurt to distance yourself from people and find comfort in being alone. When you have nobody else but yourself, there’s no escape. You learn how to listen to your thoughts and take time to try and fathom them. Not everything would make sense, but the more you entertain every question and every thought, the more you’d be able to understand who you really are.

2. Emotions and feelings make us feel alive.

No matter how beautiful or ugly they are, they give us an assurance that we are living. We are living because our heart is beating and because we are feeling something. This is why I would rather be happy or sad than to simply be okay, because sometimes okay means emptiness and emptiness means that I have been lost in the void once again. Neglecting emotions only made me feel more dead than actually living.

3. Normalcy is an illusion.

There is no such thing as natural or normal. Normalcy is something that is relative and subjective, that is, what’s normal to one person might not be normal to another. We are all different from one another and there is no way to tell if something is natural given the fact that almost everything is merely a social construct.

4. It is definitely okay to put yourself first.

It’s okay to say no to people simply because you want to. I spent a great amount of my time trying to be nice to people only realizing in the end that I sacrificed my own happiness. It’s okay to cut people off. It’s okay to care for people, but once you realize that they don’t care for you as much as you care for them, it’s okay to stop.

5. Not all the people you hang out with are your friends.

Pay close attention to those who ask how you are and who would take time listening to your endless stories, and pay close attention to the people who do not congratulate you when you’ve achieved something big. There’s a massive difference between them.

6. You can give your all to try and fix other people, but you can’t expect them to do the same.

Sure, you have that one friend you really care for. You’re always there for him/her, and you always listen to his/her stories. But don’t expect that person to do the same for you most especially when he/she never begged for your attention.

7. If you feel the need to stay in bed the whole day, do so.

It’s okay to be unproductive for a day and disregard all the work you have to do. If your body is begging you for a couple more hours of sleep, do yourself a favour and sleep some more. If you feel like you can’t handle any more stress, it’s okay to sleep in. Mental health should always be on top of your priority list.

8. Time spent to make yourself happy, or smile at the very least, is never a time wasted.

It’s okay to spend five hours of your time watching videos on YouTube that bring a smile to your face. It’s okay to take a break from work and treat yourself. No one’s going to punish you for it.

9. Money is not everything.

It’s much better to look for a job that you actually enjoy doing than one that would only drain the happiness and energy out of you. It’s much better to wake up 50 years from now, with a smile on your face, than a luxurious house that only makes you wonder why you wasted the past years of your life doing something you did not love.

10. Not everything you need to learn is being taught at school.

Read. Read up on things that run around your head. Read up on things you are curious about. You can learn so much from reading. In an era where access to academic materials is easy, you should definitely take time to explore your resources and technology.

11. Loving someone who can’t love you back is not a sign of weakness.

If anything, it is a sign of utter bravery. Love in itself is not easy, and it is definitely not easier to love someone who does not feel the same way. It only goes to show that you have a heart capable of loving. Come to think of it: If you could pour out your heart to someone who couldn’t love you in return, how much more of yourself could you give to the person who would vow to love you just the same?

12. You are not the only one who doesn’t have their shit together.

Everyone’s a little bit confused. Everyone’s got a gazillion questions running through their heads. Everyone’s a little bit lost. You are not alone so do not punish yourself for not being able to grasp the meaning of life. Everybody’s still trying to figure it out.

13. If people make you feel like they don’t care for you, believe them.

It’s okay to give up on people and start thinking about yourself. Stop chasing after people who do not deserve a role in your life. Not everybody would stay, but those who would chose to.

14. Your grades don’t define you or your future.

Never did grades determine your worth nor did they determine your intellectual capacity. Good grades do not necessarily equate to success. It is important to consider the skills and talents that you have and use them for your benefit. Learning is something that is not incarcerated to the walls of an academic institution. You can learn outside of it and use all of the knowledge that you’ve gained in running after success.

15. Dream hard, work harder.

Only hard work can turn your dreams into reality. Only a few people get miraculously discovered. If you want to succeed, do everything that you can. Everyone has a talent, and everyone has a dream, but those who are willing to work for it will achieve the goals that they set up.

16. Patience will get you a long way.

Rejection should not stop you from trying. Rejection means that you still have room for improvement and that’s alright. Nobody is perfect. Read more, be eager to learn more. Success won’t just come knocking at your door. Keep on trying, keep on working hard. And then wait for the results.

17. Maybe dreams don’t come true as soon as you want them to so you can still have a reason to keep on living.

Life is merely a cycle of finding things, events, or people as our reasons to look forward to the future. The future is a scary and unpredictable place. Life in itself is heavy and overwhelming. There are times when we would find ourselves standing at the edge of a building, waiting for a reason to jump, but there are things that are holding us back. Most of the time, those things are our dreams giving us more reasons to go on living. So don’t worry about waiting a little longer for your dreams to come true. Maybe it’s life’s way of telling you, “I know that you are at the verge of giving up, so you need a reason to keep on holding on, and here I am giving it to you.” TC mark

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