Natalia Vela

Let’s make this year a little different.

Knowing that you’re out there somewhere and not with me somehow feels like a loss, somehow feels like a death I’ve got to grieve.

You can’t call yourself a horror fan if you haven’t read any of Lovecraft’s work.

Sending her letter after letter, the actress lived in fear for her life. He would write that if it wasn’t him, he had friends that could kill her, and that upon his release he promised he would find her and finish what he started.

Don’t give any of yourself away to the guy you only hear from on weekend nights after the bars have closed down. Don’t give your heart to the guy who waits to text you when he’s bored on Wednesday night.

Gerald’s Game by Stephen King. If you haven’t already watched the film adaptation on Netflix, then hold off until you have read the book. You will not regret doing so. This stands out as one of the biggest mind fucks of all time.

I want you to know I would do things differently now. I wouldn’t be so cynical, I wouldn’t close myself off the way I did, I wouldn’t have doubted your intentions, I wouldn’t have refused to believe that maybe I deserved more than all I had ever known.

I’m convinced it gives you some sort of satisfaction to see how much you can manipulate strong and beautiful women like me.

You’ve always been there. Treading the shallow waters of my consciousness. Never straying too far from land.

They lay a finger on you and you shudder. They call you “babe” and it used to make you feel warm, but now all you can think about is how you don’t want to hear that come out their mouth anymore.

I’m thinking about your bottom lip, about how tender it felt between my teeth. I’m thinking about your mouth, about how it stopped my world, how it got me high, how I never wanted to come down.

It hurt. Doing this hurt. Caring about him hurt. Being his friend hurt. Loving him hurt. Letting him go for a final time, letting him go in all seriousness hurt. And I still am not sorry, I still wouldn’t take any of it back.