5 Girly Things That Are So Over

Nail Art

We’re done here, people. I say this a person who was at the forefront of the nail art trend. I made it a daily item when I started HelloGiggles. “Nails of the Day” was our thing. And while there will always be a place in my heart for a hand painted leopard print or an impressively detailed set of Law and Order: SVU-themed talons, there’s just nothing left to do. There was a time where I would oooh and ahhh over the little watermelons painted on the tips of your hand but now I’d just think you have too much free time. Go to the nail shop, pick a color—maybe two for a statement finger but even that makes me cringe these days—and call it a damn day.

Hello Kitty

Hello Kitty has been around since forever and she always will be, but once every ten years or so she shows up and is fucking everywhere. Debit cards, designer handbags— there are bitches out there paying thousands of dollars for shit adorned with the face of a cartoon cat and may I just say that that’s fucking retarded? Hello Kitty had her latest moment in like, 2012. Now take that pink cell phone case off your phone—you’re fucking forty years old.

Shopping

Who still shops? I mean, I’ll go get a sweater or treat myself to a Helmut Lang moment if it’s a really fantastic piece, but if you’re still waking up early to try and get to the Gilt sales as soon as they start, you need to check your priorities. If you’re still getting your highs from dropping $1,900 at Vivienne Westwood before noon, you need to return that shit and check yourself in somewhere because the best look for fall is “sanity.”

Ombre Rainbow Hair

The other day I got on the elevator in my apartment building and saw a girl with a freshly dyed blue and purple ombre look and I was like, “is she serious right now?” Rainbow ombre??? Freshly dyed??? I had my fun with a pastel bob moment not too long ago, but unless you’re Katy Perry or like, a Suicide Girl, “crazy” colored hair is for summer only. And ombre was over like, two years ago. Only Khloe Kardashian still does ombre shamelessly but she also wears like, bandage dresses and thigh high leather boots.

Calling Other Chicks “Basic”

I think the first time I heard someone call another woman “basic”, it was Nicki Minaj on a 2009 mixtape. Somehow this started up again this year and hon? It’s so ugly. There’s nothing more “basic” than calling another girl “basic.” And what is “basic” anyway? Ugg boots and frozen yogurt? Not being you? I don’t get it. Everything in the world is both basic and complex depending on how you chose to look at it and/or how stoned you are. Given the nature of this post, I can’t really say that it’s nobody’s fucking right to comment on what people are or are not or whether or not their likes and dislikes are advanced or unique, but reducing a person’s entire being to ‘basic’ is just mean. And that’s a fugly look on absolutely everyone.