Read This When The Guy Who Didn’t Want ‘Anything Serious’ Comes Crawling Back

woman sitting on window sill
God & Man

You thought you were done with him. After months of what felt like serious dating, he told you that he actually wasn’t looking for “anything serious.” That he wanted to see other people. Play the field. You were disappointed and heartbroken but said you understood and gracefully cut ties. Because casual wasn’t what you wanted and you weren’t going to wait around for him to change his mind. You respected yourself too much to do that.

But then he does. He changes his mind and comes crawling back. He sends a few seemingly innocuous texts, asking how you are and testing the waters to see how you’ll reply, to see if you’ll reply. To see if you haven’t moved on. To see if your heart is still open.

Because he realized who he has left behind now. He wants you back.

He misses the way you would laugh together until 2 a.m. and he misses having someone to talk to about his day. He misses the way you would listen intently and offer sincere advice. He misses dates on Friday nights and waking up in each other’s arms on Saturday morning. He misses your passion and your drive.

He just misses you.

And when he comes crawling back after he wouldn’t commit to you, after he acted like you weren’t enough for him, after he fucked with your head and wasted your time, shut him the hell down by putting him on read and not saying a single word back.

He doesn’t deserve to hear about your day. He doesn’t deserve to hear how you are. He doesn’t deserve anything from you and you owe him nothing at all. 

Part of you will want to give him a second chance. You’ll want to believe his intentions are good and that he really does care. That he knows what he lost, knows who he lost. And this very well may be true.

But you will struggle to trust him again. You’ll find it difficult to let him back in and act like he never left. That nothing ever happened. That he never broke your heart.

Because the truth is, he did leave. He didn’t think you were worth settling for. He wasn’t interested in anything serious, at least not with you. And now that he’s come up empty in his search for someone “better,” he’s found his way back to you since he now realizes what he lost.

And honestly, fuck that. 

It’ll be sad and bittersweet, but you’ll close his message because you know you deserve better than someone who couldn’t make up his mind about you. You’ll simply move on with your life, ready to find someone who will meet you and know what you’re worth immediately, who won’t risk letting you go.

He had his chance. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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