If He Won’t Commit To You, Commit To Yourself

You’ve been dating a wonderful guy. You have undeniable chemistry. He makes you laugh and is totally supportive. You hang out or go out every weekend and text and FaceTime each other in between seeing each other.

It all seems to be going so well. Until you discuss making it exclusive, an idea that he is not interested in whatsoever.

Because it turns out that he isn’t looking for anything serious. He wants to keep it casual and fun. He sincerely likes you a lot, but it isn’t good timing for him right now. He isn’t ready.

He just isn’t in a place to commit. 

And for a while, you wait. You hope that maybe he’ll change his mind since it isn’t personal. It’s only timing, right? Time changes constantly! Maybe he’ll learn something about you that he can’t lose. Maybe it’ll work out. Maybe he’s just scared.

But he doesn’t change his mind because he was telling you the truth. He’s not scared. He doesn’t want anything serious and timing does not evolve in your favor. And even if the reason for all of this is nothing personal, that doesn’t change the fact that he won’t commit. That doesn’t change what he wants.

And if he won’t commit to you, you need to commit to yourself.

Commit to walking away from him, a person you really like who isn’t able to give you what you need. Commit to letting him go with grace and dignity, saying goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and well wishes as you move onto someone who is willing and able to provide you with the relationship you crave.

Commit to becoming the best version of yourself. Explore your passions with relentless curiosity. Commit to kicking ass at your job. Commit to spending time alone as you get to know yourself better, learning what it is you like about yourself and what it is you need from other people.

Commit to your friends and family. Commit to spending time with people who value and appreciate you. Commit to the friends who are there for you through thick and thin, who weather all the storms life has to offer with you. Commit to the family who keeps you grounded and safe.

Commit to yourself. Commit to self-respect and self-care and self-love. Commit to being gentle with yourself and allowing yourself to make mistakes. Commit to picking yourself back up when you fall and commit to only accepting the love you deserve.

Commit to yourself, because you’re your own constant.