16 People On Why They Ghosted (Instead Of Saying Goodbye)

16 People On Why They Ghosted (Instead Of Saying Goodbye)
God & Man

1. “Honestly? There wasn’t really a reason. I just wasn’t feeling her anymore and I didn’t know know why. There was no fight, there was no annoying habit I had discovered, there wasn’t an irreconcilable difference. I just lost interest and if I ended it based on that sentiment, I was afraid I would look like a dick. And maybe ghosting is a dick move too, but it was easier than opening up that conversation, so I stopped replying to her texts and eventually they stopped.” — Doug, 24

2. “I ghosted a guy I’d been seeing because he’d done something that crossed a line physically and made me very uncomfortable and upset, and after that, I couldn’t look at him the same way. He’d been angry about how I initially reacted to what happened, so I knew talking to him about it wouldn’t do much good. Instead, I just disappeared.” — Lisa, 22

3. “I ghosted a guy because he asked me to go on a road trip to his little sister’s graduation after two dates. That was just way too much way too fast. We haven’t even gotten brunch and you want to spend three hours in a car together? No ty.” — Gwen, 27

4. “Sometimes I think it’s just mutual. Like you go out and realize there isn’t anything there so you don’t have to talk about it, you just don’t talk to them again. Mutual ghosting is very real and not a bad thing at all.” — Jessica, 30

5. “Because he sucked and didn’t deserve a reason.” — Matthew, 23

6. “I guess you could call mine accidental ghosting. I knew I wanted to break things off with her, but I didn’t want to do it over the phone or via text. I really cared about her and wanted to do it the ‘right’ way. However, life got in the way. I kept getting caught up with work and family drama and friends and kept pushing the conversation and seeing each other off. Eventually, she stopped texting and I never reached out again. To be honest, I still feel bad about it.”  — Tim, 28

7. “Well, we were never really defined. An almost relationship, I guess.We went on a few dates and I didn’t really think the chemistry was there. I felt like having a conversation explaining why I didn’t want to go on a fifth date would be a waste both my time and his. So one day he texted me and ask how I was doing, I never replied. And that was that.” — Polly, 29

8. “I politely declined a guy spending a weekend at my apartment shortly after us meeting each other (like why would you invite yourself first of all, and second of all, why would this be acceptable??!) and then when he didn’t get the hint over the next week, I just stopped texting him back.” — Stephanie, 23

9. “I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal. I mean, everyone ghosts. I figured if I didn’t respond to her a few times, she would get the hint and move on.” — Greg, 21

10. “I think women ghost out of safety. It’s safer to just not interact with that person again sometimes rather than risk the situation escalating. And maybe that feels shitty but it would be shittier if this guy got all heated and aggressive after hearing no which is unfortunately way too fucking common.”— Erica, 26

11. “I ghosted because breaking up sucks for both parties, no matter what side you’re on. I didn’t want to watch someone’s heart shatter in front of me, so I never called her back. Maybe it was cowardly, but it was easier.” — Steve, 22

12. “This guy and I had been talking for a long time. We were finally going to meet up but before I left, he started trying to sext me. We hadn’t even met in person yet. I conveniently had something come up and never talked to him again.” — Anna, 25

13. “After breaking up with my ex, he got super crazy and kept harassing me online. I’m a writer and he would comment on all my articles saying that he still loved me and how I threw everything away. He said he couldn’t blame me for anything except the way I left, but can you blame me, dude????” — Kelly, 24

14. “I ghosted her because I’m not an emotional person and breakups are emotional. Simple as that.” — Tyler, 26

15. “It just came down to basic boredom, and the thought of having one more interaction with him was torture.” — Natalie, 29

16. “I actually have been ghosted myself, on three consecutive occasions. A lot of frustration and anger had built up, and I know it wasn’t rational or fair, but I wanted to be the one to ghost someone for once. It wasn’t one of my finer moments.” — Mary, 24 TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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