It’s Okay To Think You’re Difficult To Love

One Wedding

It is one thing to know you have odd quirks that most may not find appealing in a romantic relationship, but it’s another thing entirely to feel like you are perhaps a burden to your partner.

It’s one thing to believe that you are unique — a selective, or even acquired, taste, and it is another thing entirely to believe you are difficult: difficult to be around; difficult to deal with; difficult to love altogether.

Love is rare, and relationships are not meant to be easy. While some find love fast and enjoy everlasting romances with few obstacles, the road to love for many of us is long, arduous, and at times seems pointless. When we do find love, our relationships are often met with a bevy of challenges and hurdles to clear.

“Happily ever after” does not exist in real life not because lifelong happiness is a fairy tale, but because it is never as simple as finding love and fading to black. It’s not the happy ending that is unrealistic; it’s the flawed belief in perfection of any kind.

We are all difficult to love, in one way or another. It could be that we don’t put the dishes in the sink right away, or it could be that we don’t take our shoes off when we walk through the door. It could be that we come on too strong, or it could be that we have a hard time letting anyone get within arm’s reach of us, emotionally.

Only until we accept our flaws and recognize our strengths can we truly grow as people. We often ignore the fact that everyone around us is flawed, and we lose sight of the reality that there are people out there who will fall in love us in spite of our flaws.

Being someone who is difficult to love is not an irrational thought or an unfortunate reality. If anything, it is one of the most significant realizations you can make in life. You just cannot let it break you.

You cannot allow yourself to be fooled into thinking that just because you are flawed, you are underserving of love. You cannot allow yourself to believe that just because you have not found the right person by a certain age, you are destined to spend the rest of your days alone. You cannot allow yourself to quit.

It sucks to be alone, but it does not mean you are lonely and it certainly does not have to mean that you are unhappy.

It can hurt to see others find the love of their lives, but it does not mean yours will never come along. It will drain you emotionally to try and fail in love, but it only means that you are that much closer to finding the person you were meant to be with.

It’s okay to think you’re difficult to love because the reality is that we are all difficult to love to someone.

The important thing is to remember that while everyone you have dated may collectively find 100 reasons why it didn’t work out with you, there is someone out there who will give you 100 more reasons why they can’t live without you just the way you are. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.

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