We’re all bound to come across those people or that one relationship where it seems like everything was there but the timing: One of you is ready for a relationship, while the other is still recovering from their last; one of you is moving in the near future; you both hit it off, but one of you is in a committed relationship at the moment; one of you is still focused on their studies, while the other is locked into their career already.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as finding the right person at the wrong time, and perhaps a large reason for that is because I haven’t found the right person. How can the right person for you come into your life at the wrong time? It just doesn’t make sense.
There won’t be bad timing when you find the right person because if they are the person you are meant to be with, there should be nothing stopping you two from making it work.
If two people really believe that they are right for each other and that the only thing standing in their way of happiness is poor timing, they will fight like hell to circumvent it because love takes effort.
It’s easy to look at the happily-ever-after couples in your lives or on social media and see the finished product. It’s easy to see the happiness that lies on the surface and has been posed for the camera. What you don’t see is the constant effort two people put forth everyday to love one another and help their relationship grow.
I’ve met some incredible women, and I’ve been fortunate to date several of them, but none of those relationships ever worked out. The default excuse is to say that the timing was off, and that things would be different if we had met at another time, but that only justifies a lack of effort.
If two people have that chemistry and romantic connection that so many long for, everything else is manageable. You can’t force feelings, but you can absolutely work your ass off to invest in those feelings. Truthfully, you would be stupid not to.
Are you interested in someone, but still healing from a broken heart? Go for it — slowly. No one is saying you need to become “Facebook official” and meet their parents; just date them. Enjoy your time with them. Learn about them. Tell them where you are at, emotionally.
If I’m taking a break from dating and meet someone who takes the wind out of my sails, I’m always going to pursue her. I’m not going to let some foolish self-imposed hiatus keep my heart on a leash.
Are you moving? Talk on the phone. Text. Skype. Email. Send a fucking carrier pigeon if need be. Visit each other as often as you can, and work to find a situation where you can be together at all times, three-dimensionally. Don’t let a time zone keep you away from the love of your life.
Are you bogged down in work? Make time for them. If that means you have to plan a lunch date a week in advance, do it. If that means you can only see them for a cup of coffee that week, do it. If that means going out when you’re exhausted from the day, do it.
The only people who don’t have time for others are those that don’t want to make time for them.
There are exceptions to every rule, but that’s why they are exceptions — they are not the norm. For whatever reason you can find that may be keeping you from being with someone, there’s probably five different ways you can counteract it. The real challenge is whether or not you want to put forth the effort to do so.
There won’t be bad timing when you find the right person because the right person will have you in any capacity they can for the moment rather than not have you at all.