6 Things Guys Only Say If They Mean It

Guys have a reputation of being these isolated, cold creatures who shun compassion and lack sensitivity, yet I don’t know why. That’s a lie; I know exactly why. There are plenty of guys out there who give the lot of us a bad name — particularly those who lie and cheat. Ladies, you should be familiar with this in that there are the crop of girls who are “crazy,” for all intents and purposes, and make the lot of you look “crazy” to all guys. Because some of these guys have sullied our reputation as men, women are skeptical when we say things; they can’t decide whether or not we’re telling them the truth or just something we think they want to hear. Well, to help clarify any confusion for you, here are some examples of when you should definitely take a man at his word:

1. When He Tells You He Wants To Commit To You.

Sons of Anarchy Blu-ray Set: Complete Season 1-4
Sons of Anarchy Blu-ray Set: Complete Season 1-4

If you two are just casually seeing each other with no tight-bound strings and you’re not sure where he is at, you have two options: (a) ask him; or (B) wait it out. If you ask him and he wants you to be the only girl in his life, he’ll tell you. If you’re afraid to ask, eventually he’ll come out and say it… if that’s how he feels. Many times — not all — when he says, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now,” he means, “I don’t want to be in a relationship… with you.”

2. When He Tells You He Wants You To Meet His Family.

I keep going back and forth as to whether or not “meeting the family” is a big deal, but one thing is for certain — if he’s inviting you, he wants you there. Odds are, he’s probably not bringing a plethora of women around, so if he’s going to introduce you to that side of his life, it’s because he wants to. I don’t think it should a big deal in terms of “Oh my God, we’re like getting married now,” but it is a significant step. You’ll likely be in a committed relationship by this point, so this is just another way of solidifying it.

3. When He Tells You He’s Scared.

Most guys don’t like admitting when they are afraid of something. Most guys will go to such lengths as to lie about being afraid of anything at all, just to exude the macho-man persona he’s “supposed” to have. This is all the more reason to believe him when he says he is afraid of something — be it something physical (like rollercoasters, animals, etc.) or something emotional (trusting someone, love, etc.).

4. When He Tells You “I Love You.”

OK, OK, OK, I know. This is one of the biggest “guy lies” out there for many women, so let me explain. (Perhaps this one should come with an asterisk.) In this case, you really need to listen to him when he says it. When a man professes his love for a woman, it has a different tone. I tell family members and very close friends that I love them, but it’s nothing compared to when I told my ex-girlfriend that I loved her. I felt it inside and I like to think that she felt that in my words. For anyone to profess their love, you — as the recipient — should feel it when it’s real. If it sounds like crap, it probably is. If it sounds sincere, chances are it is.

5. When He Tells You About The Future.

By the time we reach our mid-20s, most of us guys have made up our minds as to what exactly we want, long-term. If a guy doesn’t want to ever get married, he probably doesn’t ever want to get married; if he says he doesn’t want kids, he probably never wants kids. I feel like women will flip-flop on these issues more — particularly with kids, since it involves her body and health. Most men, however, are relatively confident in what they want down the road. When he speaks about these things, make mental notes.

6. When He Tells You Anything You Don’t Want To Hear.

If you ask him something that may upset you and he reveals what it is, chances are that it’s 100 percent true. Note: This isn’t always something bad; just something that you probably don’t want to hear the truth about. A girl I was seeing saw my Facebook picture and asked who the little girl in it is — now, I could’ve lied and said that she was a cousin, niece, sister, etc., but I didn’t — so I told her that she is my ex-girlfriend’s daughter. She asked more about her, so I told her. Now, as another woman, is that something you necessarily want to hear? No. But at the same token, do you think he would lie about something like that? Definitely not. Some friends say I shouldn’t be so honest, but my theory is: If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Mike Zacchio

Mike is a New York-based writer and admitted hopeless romantic. If Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw had a son, it would be him. When he’s not writing about love, dating, and relationships, he’s working his actual job as a sports reporter and columnist.

Tune into his podcast, “Heart Of The Matter” here.