The “social media is ruining relationships” topic has been talked about so often that this is hardly original. However, I will try to put a spin on the topic to make it an original article.
As more social media applications pop up, seemingly so does the paranoia amongst people in relationships, particularly women. Now, before the ladies try to reach through the screen for my throat, what I mean is, I see it much more frequently in women, than men.
A friend and I were talking the other day about how girls drive themselves crazy looking at pictures their boyfriends “like” on Instagram, etc. (A. She brought it up; B. That will be a somewhat separate article.) And that led to this article. Ladies, if you’re worried about what your man is doing on social media and/or if you should be worried, let me give you the breakdown from a 20-something male’s perspective:
The crime: “Likes” and “Favorites” on statuses and photos.
Should you be worried? Not really.
Why? If he likes something, it’s most likely harmless. If he’s liking every other thing she posts, that’s a different story. If he’s liking the picture of her at college graduation, it’s most likely harmless. If he’s liking bikini pictures, that’s a different story. If he’s known for being very active (he “likes” a lot of people’s statuses and photos) and he happens to like a bikini pic, let it slide. If it keeps happening, just calmly address it to him. If he’s only liking her stuff and nobody else’s, I’d worry.
The crime: He doesn’t want to be “Facebook Official.”
Should you be worried? It depends.
Why? When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to have a girlfriend and change my “Single” status to “In A Relationship with ________.” Now, at 25 (which seems decades older), I honestly don’t really care. If anything, I’d rather it not be posted. My profile currently doesn’t show if I’m single or not because it’s nobody’s business but my own. If I happen to date someone exclusively again, I’ll know, she’ll know, my family will know and the people closest to us will know. If it spreads through the grapevine, so be it. If she wants it, I’ll do it.
It’s not that I don’t want other girls knowing I’m “off the market” or anything; I would just rather not deal with online drama, especially if/when we break up. However, the day we get engaged (assuming Facebook is still around), I’ll change it specifically to let everyone know that we are both off the market, hopefully forever.
The crime: Following someone else on Twitter or Instagram.
Should you be worried? No.
Why? Just because he’s following a girl, doesn’t mean he wants her. Sometimes I’ll follow accounts on Twitter just because I find them funny. If it’s a girl, she’s a funny girl. If it’s a guy, he’s a funny guy. That’s it. I’m never on Instagram, so I guess that point is moot.
The crime: Following a provocative account.
Should you be worried? Kind of.
Why? If he follows an account that has a lot of provocative material — especially if he follows it after you get together — I’d address it. Obviously he’s not going to cheat on you with any of these models, but if it makes you uncomfortable, you should tell him. Personally, I’m not one to follow @BoobsAndBabes or anything like that, nor I don’t care if my girlfriend follows @ManCandyPics — and I have the exact height and weight of Jay Baruchel. Women tend to be more self conscious about body image than men, so I can see why more women would be upset with him following a certain account than a guy would be with his girl following one. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him, again, calmly.
The crime: He’s on Tinder.
Should you be worried? HYFR.
Why? I’m a pro-Tinder guy — for whatever you want to use it for (one-night stand, friends with benefits, etc.). However, if you’re in a relationship and your SO is still active on Tinder, that’s not right. Some people claim that they just want friendships on Tinder, which may be their true intention; but there’s other ways of meeting friends. Double date with your co-worker and their SO; double date with your SO’s friend; double date with your friend; there’s plenty of viable, more logical, ways to meet platonic friends other than using an app that let’s people decide if they want to interact with you predominately based on your physical appearance.