You may have even tried the “‘I Must, I Must, I Must Increase My Bust” move from Are You There God It’s Me Margaret? before you went to bed. When you’re growing up, cleavage is a one-way ticket to becoming a woman.
When will they get bigger? How old do I look? Does a boob job really hurt that much? Do I look like a little boy?
Maybe you’re still asking yourself these questions, but most likely you’ve come to the realization you’re stuck with a tiny set. But thanks to rising obesity, augmentation procedures and the number of women taking birth-control pills, boobs are actually getting larger across the world. The average breast size has grown from 34B to 36C in the last fifteen years.
Did your chest never get the memo? Just because your “enhancement exercises” never worked (What the heck, Judy Blume?!) and you’re still an A or B cup, there’s no reason to feel like the odd woman out. There’s actually a lot to celebrate — and science agrees — your small chest is awesome.
- You Feel More Pleasure In Bed
Despite what Playboy centerfolds and porn stars may have you believing, your small boobs have a large advantage in the bedroom. University of Vienna researchers found that large breasts are 24 percent less sensitive than small breasts. So what does that mean for you and your lovely A cups? Your boobs, since they have less fatty tissue, are easier to stimulate during foreplay! More motion, more feeling, more fun — take that, Double Ds!
- They Make You Look Younger
When you were a teenager, this fact may have been devastating, but now that you’re older (and wiser) it’s something you can appreciate. Your flat, perky chest is keeping you young, ladies. Since larger breasts sag over time, it’s a signal that a woman is older. Aging? Ha, not you! Go on, tell the guy at the bar you’re five years younger. He may never know.
- Saggy Boobs? Not For You
Speaking of boob sagging, it’s hardly an issue for you. The jury’s still out on whether or not bras prevent or cause drooping. One French study found that wearing bras made boobs sag more, not less. The study suggests that the restrictive material prevents muscle tissue from growing, which can speed up sagging. And since you probably don’t even have to be wearing a bra, when science eventually decides what is causing boob-sagging, you’ll be able to adjust.
- Button Down Shirts … Bring ‘Em On!
Do you know how hard it is to keep your ladies from busting out of a button-down shirt at any given moment? The answer is no, no you don’t. Because you’ve never had that problem and never will. You can rock this or this — even this.
- Financially-Secure Men Love You
Who are you attracting with your tiny tatas? Financially-secure men, that’s who! According to a Psychology Today study that asked men of different socio-economic statuses which breast size they found more sexually attractive, women with large breasts are luring in the poor fellas. Researchers suggest that women’s breast size may act as a “signal of fat reserves, which in turn advertises access to resources”. Either way, no gold diggers for you!
- Satiated Men Love You
No one likes a hangry person — especially within a potential partner. As a follow-up to the previous study, researchers set out to see whether “food security” played a role in preferences of breast size. They discovered that men whose stomachs were full were more attracted to smaller breasts and hungry men preferred larger breasts. Who wants a cranky guy who forgets to eat anyway? Science has spoken, starving gold-diggers are nothing you have to worry about.
- And Sexist Men Don’t!
Sure, guys who only like women with big boobs are shallow but science proves they’re sexist, too. According to a study from the University of Westminster, which examined the connection between sexism in men and breast size, men who see bigger boobs as more attractive also see women as “meek and weak.” Um, no thanks.
- You’re Channeling Your Inner-Flapper
Short hair, dancing the night away, wearing make-up, drinking with friends — flappers were fearless, fun and liberated. And one key element to their all-the-rage look? These 1920s gals were flat-chested. Women who were better-endowed actually taped down their breasts to join in on the gender-barrier breaking flapper revolution. Over 90 years later, the look is still adored. And for you, it’s easy — unleashing your Great Gatsby just comes naturally.
- You Have Better Posture
Pat yourself on the back. You not only don’t experience the back pain many large-breasted women do but you have better posture because your front isn’t weighing your body down. A pair of D-cup breasts can weigh between 15 and 23 pounds—ouch! Dr. Marisa Weiss, oncologist and founder of breastcancer.org, explains in addition to altering a woman’s posture, big breasts cause neck tension and headaches.
- You Have Bra Freedom
Cheap bras? Tops with built-in ones? Bandeaus? Lacy ones that offer minimal support? That bright pink polka-dot training bra catch your eye? Get it! In the bra aisle, you have options, many options. Don’t want to wear a bra? That’s A-Cup OK.
- You’re In Good Company
Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz, Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, Gwyneth Paltrow, the list goes on. You’re a member of this fierce committee of hot ladies who are petite on top.
- They’re Keeping You Healthy
By now you’re probably loving your tiny chest, but did you know it can save your life, too? Your tiny chest can help you prevent breast cancer. Dr. Weiss told Cosmopolitan it’s easier to detect a lump with smaller breasts in self-exams because there are fewer layers to feel through.
- Summertime Is Practically Made For You
Strapless, backless, halters, tube tops (do those still exist?), any freaking bikini top you’d like — take ’em all! The warmer months’ signature clothing and activities are all in your favor. Go ahead, ride a bike in a bikini! Jog in your sports bra — you only need one! Run into the ocean, Baywatch-style, the girls aren’t going anywhere!