14 Types Of People You Become After A Breakup

We all go through different phases post breakup. In fact, I myself had so many different personas, I was shocked how I could be one thing in one moment and then another after a few hours. Oh, the mood swings are endless.

So grab a pen and paper and mark which of the following you went through after your heartache.

1. Health Buff

You bring out your running shoes and start working out and burning calories like crazy. Of course, you want to be in your best physical form after being dumped (or not) and make the ex regret leaving you when he/she sees that oh so awesome beach body you got (or at least the new you which is a couple of pounds lighter).

2. Nibbler Like A Mouse

You can hardly eat. It’s not like you’re in the diet of the century but you’re just so devastated everything tastes like cardboard. With the rate you are eating, you’ll definitely shed some pounds without doing the hard work.

3. Overeating Binge

The total opposite of not eating: you eat ice cream from the pint, have midnight snacks, scarf foods that your ex loved and eat ‘em all by yourself. Eating is supposed to make you feel better. But it doesn’t.

4. Sentimental Fool

You reminisce about the old times A LOT. You remember your first date, when you go grocery shopping you buy all the favorite food items of your ex, you get teary eyed when you go to the mall you used to frequent. Even places you’ve been to only once bring back memories.

5. “Please Don’t Leave Me” Beggar

Oh, I pray to God that you are not one of those stupid fools who did this. But yes, at some point in your life, you are not thinking straight. You cry and you beg and you make all those promises that you’ll make everything better.

6. I’m Not Good Enough

You think there is something horribly wrong with you that’s why you broke up. You’re not thin enough, not beautiful enough, not rich enough, not sweet enough, just not good enough.

7. Stalker Of The Season

You want to find out how your ex is doing. Is he also moping like you do? Does he also find the break-up difficult? Is he moving on? Is he dating again? Are they together already? Is social media stalking enough?

8. Gloomy Depression

When people look at you, it’s like you carry the problems of the world. Friends try to cheer you up but you shoot them down. Nothing looks happy and everything is dark and dreary. You listen to sappy sad love songs all day and The Script songs are on the loop.

9. Rebounder

So you move on to the next guy or girl you meet. You feel that the next relationship will heal your wounds. Trust me, it won’t. You need to find a way to heal on your own. Your rebound guy or girl does not have magical powers to make you whole and complete. They can momentarily distract you but you’ll be right back in square one if it doesn’t work out. Unless you rebound again.

10. I Am One-Of-A-Kind Gal/Guy

Oh, you think you are so way better off without him. It’s a pity your ex lost you. For girls, you are smart, beautiful, strong and sweet. For guys, you are charming, intelligent, reliable and caring.

11. I Hate You!

You are just plain mad! With everyone. With everything.

12. What? Nothing Happened.

You trudge through the office or school like nothing happened. You are the same as ever (Well, except without your ex).

13. Old Maid Forever

You don’t think you’ll ever find a partner that will suit you after your ex. You’re terrified you’ll not have that one great love to spend your forever with.

14. Miss (Or Mister) Moving On

You finally realized the time you wasted moping and crying. It’s time to get your life in order and move on with your life. After all, the world continued to revolve when you felt like time stood still. Good job!

So how many have you checked? There are probably more out there. You might find yourself slipping from one description to the other. One day you’re feeling totally depressed and then you feel like you can handle life and move on, only to slip back again to depression. That’s normal. After all, you’re supposed to be an emotional turmoil after a breakup so expect one hell-of-a-rollercoaster ride.

I do hope that one day you will eventually heal and laugh at the crazy and stupid things you used to do.