18 People Talk About What It Feels Like To Be An Introvert

13. Anonymous

In short, as far as loneliness is concerned, everything can be summed up by this one line – I like being alone, but I hate being left alone.

14. Laura Marshall

Introverts get lonely, too. It isn’t about whether or not a person desires human company; it’s about how many other people and for how long. I can spend hours talking with someone who’s intelligent and thoughtful and not feel the need to go be by myself, but put me in a party with many folks I don’t know and I’ll drift into the closest dark corner. It’s kind of a quality vs. quantity thing.

15. Anonymous

You have a really low tolerance for unfulfilling social situations and a high standard for who you spend time with. My impression is that a lot of extroverts tolerate events and people that they don’t particularly like just because they don’t want to be alone, but introverts don’t have that problem. A healthy introvert would rather be alone than in a social setting they find tiresome or draining, and won’t feel lonely or sad for having made that choice.

16. Julie Jay

With me, things are not so simple. I’m not a pure introvert.

Yes, I love silence, I love taking my own time with things, I love daydreaming and living in my own universe most of the time. I love listening to music, drawing, arts in general. I like to sit quietly and watch a movie or research something that interests me. I experience the awkwardness of small talk all of the time. Social interactions feel as if they suck the life out of me. I find that after a long day spent around people I don’t know well, there’s nothing I love more than being by myself to recharge my batteries. I don’t talk a whole lot, mainly because I think way much more than I speak.

But despite all these traits that allow me to identify with being an introvert, I also experience a strong desire for social bonds. I have since early in my childhood experienced a lot of psychological stress because of my lack of true friendships. I was never able to understand why people talked to me at first, but most just drifted away after a short while. Now I believe it’s just my sudden shift between my ” extroverted social mode” and my “introverted social mode”. I am social and full of energy at the beginning, but tone down and retreat in my shell once I begin to know a person.

It pains me that I can’t fit in with everyone else and just mingle. Somehow even when it seems like I’m making some kind of breakthrough, I’m doomed to discover later that the friends I thought I made were in fact horrible people or creeps. There is one friend that I’ve had for years which I still keep around for company. I’ve known them since we were kids, and even though we’ve grown apart and we don’t share a lot of common interests and opinions anymore, she likes me because I am a good listener and I like her because she is my whole social life outside my long term relationship and family.

Sometimes I really enjoy time by myself, but other times, I really can’t stand it. I want to speak and be active and think less and act more, but every time I try it’s like an automated system inside of me puts on the breaks before I can do anything.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I must be somewhere in the middle. 50% of me tends to be an introvert and the other 50% is an extrovert. It explains the all the internal conflicts and frustrations. I wonder if I still get to pick sides.


About the author

Michael Koh

Follow Michael at @UghHugs.

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