39. NonViolentWar
I walked in on my roommate absolutely slamming his girlfriend in the ass doggy-style. It was 7 years ago and I still see it vividly. Jesus Christ, he was absolutely railing her. They didn’t even hear me come in over the sound of their own heaving and the sound of his balls absolutely slamming her. My roommate was a fucking savage.
To this day it is hard to explain how hard he was taking it to this poor girl. I felt sorry for her. I caught a glimpse of her face and it was just like that emoticon we use O_O. Her mouth was hanging open and her whole head was shaking and trembling. Every muscle in her upper body was flexed and she was clenching a pillow with all her might.
40. iangoround
My sophomore year of college I had a roommate, lets call him Dude just because. Dude had the habit of bringing home a chick from a party or bar every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Sometimes he would do it on a Wednesday too. One night, I was quite asleep in my state issued lumpy twin extra long prison surplus bed when Dude and Chick walk in. They went straight to his bed and commenced with the makeouts. Now, his bed was on the other side of the room and our desks where back-to-back in between. I couldn’t see much of his bed except for underneath our desks. Chick is blowing Dude because, to paraphrase, she has “whiskey pussy and isn’t ready yet.” By this point, Dude has sobered up a little and realized that unlike most of the girls he has brought home, this one is NOT up to his decidedly low standards. So he pretends to fall asleep while she’s blowing him. Chick finally decides she’s had enough dick in her mouth for now and tries to rouse Dude for sexytimes. Dude plays possum. Chick tries to wake him for a few minutes, asks if he has lube, blah blah. After a while, she gives up and calls a friend on her phone. She tells her friend that the guy she came home with passed out on her and she’s really horny but has whiskey pussy and doesn’t know what to do.
Chick and phoneafriend go back and forth for a while about what Chick should do. I eventually got sick of that, sat up in bed and said in a quiet but stern voice, “GO THE FUCK HOME.”
Chick freaked out, dropped her phone and ran out of the room naked. I think she made as far as the door to the hallway (we had a “suite” which was two bedrooms connected in the center by a common room with the bathroom and hallway access off of it) before she stopped. About 5 minutes passed before she came back in quietly, got her things and left.
AS SOON as he heard the hallway door open and close, Dude shot up and said “Thanks man. You know, I brought her back here so we could run a train on her but then I saw her in the light and went AWWW HELL NO.”
Amazingly, this guy was the best roommate I ever had in college. The rest were fucking nightmares.
41. kessleraof
My friend and I went through an “urban exploring” phase in high school. Basically we broke into abandoned buildings, took pictures with cool shit, then left. One day we passed a demolition site where there used to be a Kmart. All that was left standing was one wall along with mounds of rubble and construction equipment so we decided to check it out. It was broad daylight and the parking lot was closed off anyway, so we had to find an alternative way onto the site. We ended up parking in an adjacent parking lot and figured we could cut through some woods.
While were walking, we see these GIANT piles of shit scattered throughout the woods. Like, big enough that you’d wonder the size of the thing that made the shit. It confused us because there was pretty much nothing around us but trees and brush. Anyway, we made it to the site then left.
The next day we brought another friend along with us and showed him the piles of shit on the ground. We go on explaining “yeah, we have no idea what kind of animal would make these.” And as we’re talking, our other friend points up and goes, “uh, guys there’s a horse standing over there.” Sure enough, there was a fucking white horse just roaming the woods. We kept going back into the woods to feed it carrots and other veggies but neither of us had the balls to try and ride it.
Eventually, it just stopped coming to the spot where we found it. To this day, we still refer to that beauty as “Ghost Horse.”
42. tsuto
Some friends I knew in high school were messing around in bed and the girl decided to do an experiment with some strong magnets. She put one in her ass and one in her vagina to see if they would stick together on the inside. Turns out they did and her and her boyfriend both tried but could get then back out again. After a lot of panic they ended up having several people try to get the magnets out before finally her mom succeeded.
