15. jkashins

My friend was working on his doctorate in some science, I think physics and he was very busy, I had only seen him once in the past few weeks and he was always with this girl who was really cool.

They would hang out a lot while he would do research and she would do work for her masters’ thesis, would text each other every day and also they would once a week go out to burger king (poor college students and have stuff from the dollar menu). It was pretty clear that they dug each other as they seemed to be very similar and were both very interesting.

They had met when he was finishing up his doctoral work and so I asked him what he planned to do. Well he said that he planned on asking her out.

Now this confused me, as I had thought they had been dating for roughly the last six months, so I ask him if they’ve ever hooked up. And he’s like yeah every time she comes over and they sleep in the same bed roughly 5 nights out of the week. Do you go out with her? He took her to burger king. Do you really enjoy talking to her? Yeah I’m glad we talk all the time and stuff. And I say “Dude this sounds suspiciously close to a relationship”.

And he goes “Oh that explains this then”. She had sent him a text saying “happy 6 months baby!! :D”. Even after this he still wasn’t sure. So yes my friend is retarded. They are still together to this day.

16. [deleted]

I was practically on top of my now fiance and he still thought we were just cuddling.

17. awesumnitz

I was flatting with my sister and her friend and apparently whenever the friend had a stressful day, she would sleepwalk. Well, when I moved in, she started sleepwalking into my bed. I didn’t complain because she was pretty hot and flirted with me a lot even though she had a boyfriend. She did say that I wasn’t allowed to interrupt her while she was sleepwalking or it would give her a shock and some bullshit would happen so I tried to let her do her thing. It was ok for a few months cos she was reasonably dressed and either laid beside me or cuddled me. But after 6ish months, she started waking me up in the night cos she was grinding against me or making me play with her.

One night, she came to my room butt nekkid and was grinding against me. At that point I was getting a serious case of blue balls and I couldn’t handle it any longer so I told her the next day what had happened. She looked pretty embarrassed and apologized. That day I think her boyfriend caught wind of it and broke up with her cos she was crying about it for the entire afternoon. That night I ended up waking up to her giving me one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had. I thought “oh shit I’m gonna bust my nut and she’s gonna think I raped her!” so I tried to wake her up. When I tried to wake her, she stopped sucking and came up to me and kissed me telling me to not freak out and just let it happen.

I let it happen and we were together for a year.

I found out later that she wasn’t a sleepwalker and she that was just trying to get into bed with me