50 Unintentional Quotes From Children That Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine

13. Second_Location

"You can't see me~" image - thisreidwrites
“You can’t see me~”
image – thisreidwrites

My kid was in the bathtub one night with the bathroom door open and I was puttering around in the next room. She called out and said “hey mommy, who was that blue guy who just walked down the hall?” She said he was tall and thin and featureless like “the shape of those men on the bathroom door like at a restaurant”. Creeped me out!

14. pjdavis

"But daddy, I want to stuff bodies with you!" image - Pavel Tcholakov
“But daddy, I want to stuff bodies with you!”
image – Pavel Tcholakov

My son (6), when asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, said, “I think I want to be a fighter pilot, or maybe a funeral worker like daddy.”

I am a software engineer.

15. GeneralOffensiveUnit

Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied “Oh, nobody ‘scroofs’ me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I’m here.” She said this like it was nothing. My wife and I were catatonic.

16. Cyprah

"Mommy, this doesn't taste like Doritos???" image - GregPC
“Mommy, this doesn’t taste like Doritos???”
image – GregPC

My little brother said something eery to my grandma.

“I like this mummy better than my last mummy. My last mummy locked me in a room and I drank some paint and died.”

17. etwas_naht

The rare occasions in which small children have alluded to having violent experiences that led to previous deaths freak me the fuck out.

The most detailed one I ever heard was actually delivered second-hand through my friend’s mother. Apparently beginning around the time my friend could form sentences until he was little more than 2, he would go on and on about how he was a Native American named Conchon and that after his wife and son got sick and died, he moved to a mountain to live by himself with his horse. He died of a broken neck when he fell into a ravine. Weird shit, man.

18. Polite_Werewolf

When my father was a kid in the 60s, he would go into the living room in the middle of the night, turn the TV on to static, climb on his rocking horse and slowly rock back and forth in the dark room only lit by the TV static and slowly say “I hate mommy. I hate mommy. I hate mommy.” over and over again. My grandmother says it was the creepiest thing she’s ever seen. Well, that and the UFO.

"I hate mommy." Shutterstock
“I hate mommy.”
Shutterstock

19. AlphaRedditor

My godson told me that he was “fully erect and ready to wreck.” He was 3. His dad told him to tell me that and is a twisted man.

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