1. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
2. Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam.
3. What do you call a nosy pepper?
4. Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
5. How do you befriend a squirrel?
Just act like a nut.
6. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
7. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
8. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.
9. Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
10. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
11. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
12. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
13. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their face.
14. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
15. What do cows most like to read?
16. How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
18. What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
20. What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.
21. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
22. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
23. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
Well this tastes a little funny.
24. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
Make a seizure salad.
25. What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!
26. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.
27. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
28. Which plant rules the garden?
29. Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.
30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
31. Why was the poor guy selling yeast?
To raise some dough.
32. What’s a firefly’s favorite game?
33. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?
His mummy, of course.
34. What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
A chilly dog.
35. Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
36. How much does a pirate pay for corn?
37. Did you hear about that wedding?
It was in-tents.
38. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He could feel his presents.
39. What do baby kangaroos wear when it’s cold out?
40. What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?
41. What’s the most famous creature in the ocean?
42. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
Do not read it!
43. What do ants get when they do all their chores?
44. Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?
They just don’t have the guts.
45. What did one egg say to the other?
Eggs-cuse me, please.
46. What’s so bad about Russian dolls?
They’re all so full of themselves.
47. Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep?
Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
48. What do clouds wear under their shorts?
49. What does a farmer say after feeding a stick of dynamite to his steer?
50. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was a little shellfish.