So many people have told me that “love is blind,” but most of the time I think it’s more that being in love blinds us to reality. We get so caught up in romantic relationships that we often lose pieces of ourselves along the way.
Sometimes love impairs our senses and we find the sensations of love so intoxicating that we lose all control. We love the way the relationship makes us feel, and we don’t want that to ever stop. Because we love the physical touch or emotional connection, we ignore things like imbalances of power or less-than-healthy attributes of our partner.
Other times, we can’t bear the idea of living alone, so instead we stay in a relationship well beyond the expiration date. Even when we know deep down that our relationship is causing emotional (and sometimes physical) damage, we hold on for dear life even when other people tell us that it’s time to let go.
Regardless of the specifics of your situation, you’re now at that crossroads, wavering between breaking up or staying together. Something inside of you is screaming that it’s time to go, yet those parts of your soul lost in the relationship cause you to question that inner voice and convince you to stay. So what do you do when you reach that point where you feel conflicted about whether you should stay or you should go?
Although I can’t say what you should do, I can share what worked (and didn’t) for me.
I spent so much time and energy on relationships even after I saw the writing on the wall. I held on for so long—longer than I should have ever stayed. I endured disappointment after disappointment. I experienced severe heartache and emotional pain. Yet every time I reached that crossroads, I could never find the courage to listen to that inner voice and walk away.
But do you know what happened in the end? The relationships inevitably fell apart anyway.
Looking back, I wish that I had listened to those who encouraged me to leave and listened to both my head and my heart. I could have saved myself months (and in some cases, years) of emotional turmoil if I’d only paid attention to the signs. Because even though I often question my own intuition, my gut is usually spot on.
If you see the writing on the wall or even have an inkling of a feeling that something isn’t right, then it’s time to find the courage to break up and move on with your life. If you’re reading this because you can’t decide if it’s time to break up, then it’s probably time to let go. After all, everyone deserves true happiness and unconditional love from their partner—especially someone like you.
