I recently learned in therapy that our mind organizes thoughts and memories based on schemas, or beliefs that we develop over time. But I believe so many false and harmful things that I’m slowly trying to drop them one by one. So, here’s a lengthy list of things that I no longer believe (and I hope you’ll stop believing them, too).
1. I no longer believe in unanswered prayers.
When we’re told “ask and you shall receive,” it’s easy to feel discouraged when our seemingly humble requests go unanswered. Why can’t things go my way just this once? Why do the powers that be hate me?
Life may not be entirely predestined, but sometimes what we want and what we need are two completely different things. Sometimes those “unanswered” prayers simply get answered in a different way.
2. …And I no longer believe in coincidence.
It’s easy to believe that happy times in our lives only come as a stroke of luck or pure coincidence. After all, that’s why phrases like “What a coincidence!” and “It must be your lucky day!” exist, right?
However, we all work hard for what we earn, and our efforts are often rewarded. Plus, life sometimes shows us that divine intervention is totally a thing, and those moments often provide us exactly what you need. It’s important to recognize the significance of positive moments in our lives, whether they come out of hard work or just a sprinkling of fate.
3. I no longer believe that everything happens for a reason.
When things go wrong, people offer corny encouragement by saying that it’ll all make sense in time. But does that ever really explain tragic losses or other unspeakable horrors?
I once believed that each bruise upon my body held some unknown significance. However, it’s time we all realize that sometimes things simply happen. There’s not always a magical life lesson or situation waiting for us down the road. Not everything happens for a reason.
4. …But I no longer believe that everything was my fault.
Sometimes it’s easy to blame other people for our struggles, but most often we actually find ways to blame ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should have acted differently, or society tells us that we were asking for mistreatment based on our appearance or our personality traits.
But I’m ready to stop blaming myself for the choices others make or the misfortunes that befall the world that I couldn’t have possibly caused. Although we all sometimes make poor choices, that doesn’t mean that everything that happens is our fault.
5. I no longer believe politicians.
As children, we hear about “Honest Abe” and other wonderful, trustworthy men throughout American history. But does that mean every public figure can be trusted?
No, I think not. It’s time to stop believing all the empty promises and bologna that elected officials feed us on the daily. I know I, for one, am ready to see action before I believe a single word they say.
6. …And I no longer believe everything I read.
We’re taught that mainstream media is reliable, from our local news anchors to national headlines. But what happens when there are two sides to the story? What about all this fake news?
Social media perpetuates propaganda and often creates elaborate webs of lies. I now try to do my homework and find at least 3 resources before believing something I’ve read online.
7. I no longer believe in happy endings.
Fairy tales spoil us into believing that everything turns out peachy keen in the end. But are we all really meant to discover our Prince (or Princess) Charming and spend our days in a glorious castle?
Sometimes endings aren’t happy, they’re just peaceful or even slightly mundane. The key is learning to embrace that life isn’t about fame and riches, but the memories we make along the way.
8. …But I no longer believe that the world is against me.
Sometimes people don’t like us, and sometimes we genuinely are a victim of circumstance. However, when we fall into a pattern of victimization, we start to believe that the world hates us, and we self-sabotage just to prove that point.
But the world isn’t against me (nor is it against you, either). Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes, it’s our fault; other times, it’s not. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles, but that doesn’t mean that it’s us against the world.
9. I no longer believe that I’m destined to walk through life alone.
I used to think that I was the living embodiment of a Green Day song and that I’d always end up alone in the end. Anxiety and false schemas convinced me that everyone would leave.
The reality is, though, that there’s someone for everyone. Whether it’s the Bonnie to our Clyde or the Mia to our Lilly, there’s someone out there that we truly connect with and who will stay by our side no matter what storms come along. I now know that there will always be a hand outstretched to clasp mine, even sometimes more than one.
10. …And I no longer believe that I’m inherently evil.
When people run from us during the hard times, it’s easy to start believing that you’re simply just no good. But is anyone really evil? Is anyone completely unlovable?
Our flaws don’t make us evil, nor do our conditions and afflictions. We all deserve love and understanding, because we’re all good people deep down inside.
11. I no longer believe that true equality will ever exist.
They say “all men are created equal,” but we rarely treat people that way. So many still fight for their right to party, to be accepted and freely speak. I think egos and petty thoughts will forever prevent true equality from existing.
12. …But I no longer believe that I deserve less.
When we’re taught that we’re insignificant, we start believing that we deserve less than the others. But what gives anyone else the right to deprive us of our dreams and desires?
Regardless if we’re seen as equal, that never means that we deserve less.