You are a senior citizen, or at the very least, you’re the senior citizen of your friend group. If you’re the kind of person who favors Werther’s original hard candies, or thinks Cherry Luden’s are the bees’ knees, then chances are you have voluntarily called something the “cat’s pajamas,” can’t figure out how Facebook messaging works, and deleted Snapchat months ago because it got too many weirdly nuanced functions that you had no interest in figuring out.
You have refined tastes. You don’t have a “sweet tooth” per se, but you enjoy a nice dessert here and there, and probably also enjoy earthy red wine and a well-made cocktail. You aren’t an impulsive, instant gratification-type person. Instead, you enjoy things slowly without overindulging. But even though you’re moderate, you like to treat yourself occasionally.
You want to be more concerned with quality, but you’re busy and scatterbrained, and ultimately, it means you’ll just grab a chocolate bar that tastes like it was made with subtle hints of plastic. It’s not that you’re deluding yourself into thinking it’s Ghirardelli, it’s that you’re totally okay with the fact that it’s just okay rather than great. Your chocolate-on-the-go pick just isn’t top of mind, and you’d rather concern yourself with other things.
You are a child at heart. You appreciate M&M’s because they remind you that some things in life are still sugar coated, which is just comforting on so many levels. Not only that, but you firmly believe in the mood-boasting powers of peanut M&M’s, which means you can find pleasure in the small, simple things in life.
Kinder Bueno Bars
You wish you lived abroad.
You really want to make it clear that you are NOT mainstream, okay? You’re different. You’re an alternative to Reese’s. You are more complex, and want your peanut butter and chocolate treats to have depth and layers and, well, pretzel pieces. You believe that you – and the people around you – are special and each have something unique to contribute to the world.
Reese’s Pieces, Cups, or Sticks
You are interesting and all, but you still like to play it safe. You want things to be comfortable and relaxed, and you are the type of person who is reliable and likes to surround themselves with other positive and reliable people. You are a lot of people’s go-to gal/guy — at work, and as a friend and confidante.
You’re ridiculously fun, and people just love to have you around. You’re positive, bright, and optimistic. You’re attracted to other people with the same enthusiasm, but also spread yours, and love to share your good energy with everyone else.
You have very specific preferences and like things a certain way. You’re someone who thinks in a compartmentalized way, and favors logic over emotion. You were the type of kid who liked to sort out all your candy on Halloween, and count the different varieties and then make a list with all the sugary totals. You were very cool as a child.
You are nostalgic as hell. You are constantly reminiscing with friends and thinking about the good times you used to have. You stay friends with your exes, and you like to talk with your parents about the past, and the things you used to do when you were a kid. You miss simpler times – like the times before the speculation that pop rocks should be taken off the market because they’re straight-up dangerous.
You love when a lot of things are going on – both in your candy bars, and in life. You don’t want things to be too plain, you want them to be action packed. You love cooking elaborate meals, planning activity-filled vacations, having tons of games to offer people when they come over, and entertaining people. You’re fun-loving, and you don’t ever, ever want to lead a boring life.