Don’t be with someone whose affection you have to fight for. Fight for other things. Fight to stay together, even when distance pulls you in other directions. Fight for your family to like them. Fight to show them how much you care, even after a hard week. Fight to love them in the smallest moments.
But don’t fight to make them love you. Don’t push to make them fight for you. Don’t be okay with someone who will commit, but not fully. Don’t fight for someone who will love with boundaries, instead of with their whole heart. Don’t make excuses for someone who makes excuses. Don’t be with the person who makes you compete for their attention.
You shouldn’t have to convince someone to want you.
You shouldn’t have to settle for “almost” when you want a “yes.” You shouldn’t have to be all-in, when someone else is still on the fence. You don’t want to be stuck in love-adjacent limbo when you could have the real thing.
Your person is going to be your number one. So don’t ever be someone’s number two. Don’t be the plans they’ll make if other plans fall through. That isn’t a compromise. That is someone treating you than less than you are. That is someone who doesn’t deserve you.
It’s too easy to forget this, especially when you feel like being someone’s alternate, someone’s almost, someone’s half-hearted swipe is the norm. It’s easy to forget that there are people who want to be with you, and only you, instead of playing with the endless reel of options. But that is not a reason to compromise. And you deserve to know that you are worth so much more than that.
Don’t fight for someone who makes you question yourself. If they make you wait for a response because they want to keep you guessing, let them play games on someone else’s time. If they are with you until they find someone else, let them go, and just know that they won’t find someone to be their “in between” love. If they are with you because someone else didn’t want to take them back, don’t be their first alternate.
Don’t be with the person who responds only when they feel like it, and doesn’t feel like it very often. There are people out there who are waiting to call you back, waiting to respond to your last text, waiting to choose you over someone else, waiting on other plans to see if you’re available, and waiting to make you their number one. So don’t compromise and tolerate something less.
You are no one’s “maybe.” You are no one’s second choice, and no one’s fall back. You are no one’s safe bet, or convenience pick.
You’re someone’s plan A — remember that. You are someone’s definitive “yes.” You are someone’s catch, but not someone who is just on the hook. You are someone’s be all and end all, instead of their one of many.