1. Not everything is “meant to be,” but if you want something enough, there’s nothing stopping you from trying to chase it down.
2. Hearing “no” is not ever as bad as you think it’s going to be. Yes, in the moment it hurts, it stings, it’s painful. And then, a few days later, it isn’t as painful. And a few days after that, it hurts even less. The lesson? You recover.
3. Even though asking for a second chance is terrifying, it’s better to ask than to regret the fact that you never asked.
4. In terms of love, life is nothing like “Sex and the City.” The characters you want to show back up in your life sometimes won’t. The characters you wish would stay away have a knack for showing up. You can’t change the way other people act, but you can change your perspective on it, and choose not to be bothered by an ex’s antics.
5. When someone pushes you away, you need to let them have their distance, because prodding them won’t help the situation. This is as true in the working world as it is in the dating world. You don’t want to text someone too many times, nor do you want to follow up too soon.
6. Making a “comeback” doesn’t have to be an elaborate, planned out scheme. Sometimes it’s as simple as showing someone, quietly and politely, that you deserve another chance.
7. Nothing is more important than having a support system of people who will be there for you at rock bottom. Chasing friends who don’t care about you enough is not nearly as worth your time as investing time into friendships that are built to last.
8. Your family can be disappointed in you occasionally, but it will rarely be because of failure. As long as you’re trying your best, not meeting your goal isn’t something they’re holding against you, even if you come from a strict family.
9. If someone’s mind is made up before you approach them, that is not your fault. If someone is on the fence, or open minded, then you should take the opportunity to state your case. If someone already dislikes you, the best you can do is pretend that animosity doesn’t exist, and not feel bad about yourself if things don’t go your way.
10. Many great connections have been formed by someone sending an email they thought was a complete shot in the dark.
11. Getting hurt — whether emotionally, or getting physically injured — is not something you can move passed without confronting. If you hurt yourself playing lacrosse, you can’t always be back on the field the next day. You need to give yourself time to heal, recover, and rehabilitate before you get back out there.
12. The same is true emotionally. As much as you want to rush the mending of a broken heart or wounded pride, it often doesn’t work like that.
13. Hard work pays off, but it’s easy to lose sight of that when you’re overworked, or working a mile-a-minute. The fact is, your work may not pay off when you expect it to, and that can be hard to stomach. It’s too easy to get impatient. But you need to have faith in your work, and believe that it is taking you somewhere.
14. Establishing a routine for when you’re having a difficult day will help knock you out of a funk. For example, if you get home, are feeling down about whatever happened in your day, and can’t figure out what to do to cheer yourself up, you can end up making yourself feel worse. However, if you have a go-to activity (a favorite meal you like to cook, a place you like to order food from, taking a bath, doing a workout, etc.), you’ll be able to snap yourself out of a mood quicker than you otherwise would.
15. As Coldplay frequently reminds us, getting what you want and getting what you need are two very different things, and sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two until after the fact.
16. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength and humility.
17. Similarly, when people make you feel like an idiot for asking a very fair question, it’s not worth paying too much attention to their attitude. It won’t help you to lament over someone being abrupt or rude to you. You can’t do anything to change their behavior. Just let mean people be mean, and know that their shittiness can’t affect your mood unless you let it.
18. Whether you like it or not, timing plays a role in pretty much everything, and it’s hard to work against shitty timing. The easiest way to navigate around bad timing is to anticipate it and be prepared, though this is admittedly easier said than done.
19. At some points in life, it will feel like everyone else is getting what they want — getting ahead at work, buying a house, getting married, gaining influence — except you. This is in your head, and even if you’re not having your best year yet, the luck you’re having isn’t permanent.
20. Showing people kindness will always get you farther than showing people your unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and displeasure. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t politely voice concerns if you have them. You need to stick up for yourself.
21. Even when you don’t feel like you need to cover your ass, cover your ass. After you fail or get hurt enough times, you learn the importance of protecting yourself.
22. You. Need. To. Stay. Humble.