19 Honest Reasons That Explain Why You Struggle With Commitment


1. You’re quick to put your guard up, but hesitant to let it down.

2. You struggle to relate to people who get too deep into troublesome relationships, because you honestly would never let a bad relationship get that far. You are not someone who gets too close to anyone who exhibits red flags early on.

3. More than expecting someone to pay for dinner on the first date, you expect up-front respect. You expect someone to not play mind games with you via text, or try to undermine you. You aren’t the type to fall for a know-it-all, or someone that shakes your confidence.

4. You are a forward thinker. You know what it’s like to be disappointed by someone, and you don’t want to spend endless amounts of time trying to work on them, or make them change.

5. You can separate your heart from your mind, and you pride yourself on being able to distinguish between the two voices, and listen to your head. Your practicality always kicks in. You’re not the type to get swept up in love.

6. You are secure, and while that security is unwavering, you still don’t want to risk a relationship that makes you insecure. For you, love should be something that enhances your sense of security, not something that tears it down.

7. You have been hurt by someone who fulfilled all of your highest expectations, and still managed to break your heart. And all it did was raise your expectations even higher.

8. You aren’t malleable. You aren’t interested in having someone come into your life and change you.

9. You don’t want to date for the sake of having a relationship. You don’t want to make an attempt at couplehood because all your friends are doing it. People assume peer pressure ended with weed in high school, but the pressure to hitch yourself to someone else in your 20s is just as strong.

10. You don’t want to be in a relationship just because it’s an epidemic.
You can’t deal with people who are overbearing, and you don’t want to feel like you’re the spotlight of someone else’s day 24/7. It’s nice to be appreciated, but you don’t need someone else’s validation, and in fact, having someone constantly validate you just makes you feel like you’re under scrutiny.

11. You know that once you commit to someone, there’s a good chance that you will end up being the one who gives more. You’ll be the one that encourages them to pursue the best, the one who loves unselfishly, and you’re scared that it will end up putting you in the passenger’s seat of your own life.

12. You truly dislike not knowing what’s going on in someone else’s head, and you know that guessing won’t do you any good.

13. You don’t like to feel tied down, but not because you think you’ll meet someone better. You don’t care about meeting someone better, you just don’t want to love someone enough to choose them over yourself. To fall in love is to compromise choosing yourself first. And if you want to pick up and go tomorrow, or take a new job that’s halfway around the world, you don’t want anything in your life tol make you even hesitate before saying “yes.”

14. You’ve seen friends transition slowly from “independent, uninterested in the dating scene” to “casually dating” to “relationship blob that can’t go anywhere without their SO,” and you don’t want that to be you.

15. You saw your parents struggle through relationship challenges, and it showed you how bad it can be to constantly be with partners that fight with you, or treat you poorly. Once you’ve seen that example growing up, it’s hard to clear your head of those risks.

16. You have always been hard on yourself in terms of your choices. So even when you do like someone, you second-guess yourself, and have trouble sorting out whether you care about them, or actually just feel lukewarm.

17. You don’t like planning around someone else. You enjoy making your own schedule, spending time by yourself, and don’t need constant company.

18. When you meet someone, before you fantasize about what your life could be like with them, before you get excited about new relationships things, and introducing them to your friends, you think about how much the breakup will hurt. The thought everyone else pushes from their mind, is the one that comes to yours first.

19. When a potential partner says they miss you, or mentions that you’re being “distant,” it makes you want to back away. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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